What Comes Out When Life Squeezes Us?

I want to start by saying I can’t take credit for coming up with the title for this post.

That honor I’ll give to Dr. Wayne Dyer, who taught me something many years ago that still impacts how I respond to life during times of adversity.

Now I want to keep things real by admitting that even though I dispense tips and ideas about personal development and consciousness on this blog and in other articles I write, I am no guru – nor have I mastered my own ability to always do what’s “right.”

I still get upset when life screws with me. And I don’t always act like an adult either.

What I do have, however, is the ability to observe myself and others. I also have attained what I would call “wisdom” during times of intense feelings of connection to something I can only describe as awareness.

That being said, when I’m privy to such times of deep insight, I remember what I’ve learned. I am able to connect dots and see a big picture. This picture involves the world, humans, myself and how everything is connected to everything else.

We live in a world of Cause and Effect. One thing leads to another. It always has, it always will.

Some of what we observe we may be able to trace back to specific causes, others go so far back that even our ancestors may not know what caused what we’re dealing with today.

But I’m going off topic here, so forgive me.

What this is about is the fact that even though we think we know things, it’s when life calls for us to act on this so-called knowledge that determines true wisdom from a false sense of intelligence.

Knowing is knowing.

Knowing + doing = action.

Doing from a conscious level of knowing is a form of self-mastery.

Doing because it IS you and doesn’t require the need for duality or contrast is what is called a Stellar Man.

I don’t know anyone who falls into that last category, so I won’t elaborate on it for now. But such an individual does exist. We should all hope to become a Stellar Man (person) one day, but until then, I’ll settle for simply being a better version of myself with each experience I encounter.

Sometimes I do well when life squeezes me. Other times, not so much.

In fact, I’ll share where I’ve managed to grow and where I’m still struggling.

I have nothing to hide.

What Comes Out When Life Squeezes Us?

I’ve mentioned a few times in previous posts that I have not been in a great place recently.

I feel better than I have in a while, and I’m grateful for that.

But I’d be lying if I said there’s an easy fix for what ails me.

This is because I’m keenly aware that what gets in my way is ME.

I have self-imposed limitations – many of which are tough to deal with sometimes. These beliefs I have about myself, my worth and my abilities go way back. Like the ancestor remark I made earlier, I’m not sure if I’ll ever find out exactly what has caused me to feel the way I do about certain things – or what it is within me that gets in my way.

But I do practice what I “preach”, and this has been the difference between having awareness vs. being someone who relies on outside circumstances to make me feel better.

I also don’t run from my pain.

My ability to get to know thyself is why I see others so clearly. I recognize myself in so many people.

So what comes out when life squeezes me?

I’ll share the good and the not so good. I think you’ll recognize a bit of yourself in what I have to say. Maybe, just maybe – if we can own what’s within us, we’ll bring our shadows to the surface and heal some of this stuff once and for all.

This is why I’m sharing this part of myself with you.

I use my flaws as a tool for growth. When I become aware of what exists within me, I know what I contribute to the world.

It matters because everything we do matters. When the majority of humans truly get this and make it a point to be ok with being mistaken, flawed and aware of their deep conditioning – then, and only then will the world as we know it now improve.

So with that said, here is how I play my part.

What Happens When Life Squeezes Me?

The Good

  • I observe my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
  • I allow my pain to communicate with me.
  • I don’t judge myself any longer. I remain aware that I do the best I can with what I have to work with and strive to be a kinder, more compassionate and less judgmental human being toward myself and others.
  • I call upon my strengths to guide me through turmoil, but I also acknowledge my weaknesses. 
  • I hold myself accountable for everything in my life. Not always so easy to do, but it sure beats blaming others.
  • I learn quite a bit about my own faults and flaws. It makes me more understanding and forgiving toward others who are also doing the best they can with what they’ve got to work with.
  • I become wiser.

The Not So Good

  • I am perfectly capable of whining and complaining. I witness myself doing it, but sometimes, that child inside of me wants to pout – and she sure does.
  • My immediate reaction to some of the painful things I encounter is to assign blame. I catch it, but I still find it easy to point the finger sometimes.
  • I throw pity parties. Yep – I do. I’m usually the only one who feels like attending, and that’s what helps me snap out of it quickly.
  • I allow feelings of defeat to get the better of me sometimes. I consider throwing in the towel with everything I strive to accomplish. Then I remind myself that I’m not in this for the results. I trust what I do. I know it comes from a real place. But when I feel like my efforts aren’t paying off, I am perfectly capable of wanting to quit.

So as you can see, I’m still a work in progress. I’m sure I always will be.

We all are.

None of us are perfect. We aren’t Stellar people. But if we can be ok with our imperfections and be willing to allow our shadows to present themselves to us without judgment, we’ll be in a position to accept the totality of who we are. This is where transcending into a more conscious, compassionate and wiser version of ourselves is possible.

When life squeezes me, I care about getting to know what’s inside.

So many of us spend our time running away from what/ who lives inside of us. We deny ourselves the gift of self-awareness. It comes disguised in pain more often than not, so to cope, we mask the pain or try to avoid it.

Imagine a world filled with individuals who own themselves and make it a priority to stop blaming everything and everyone else for their problems.

A victimless society filled with people who are conscious enough to face truth, question their thoughts and beliefs and assume personal responsibility for their choices and actions.

Maybe you’ll see something valuable in what I’m saying – maybe you won’t.

But from what I’ve observed, it’s become clear to me that if we ever have a shot at transforming this violent, destructive and harsh world we live in into something kind, peaceful and benevolent – it’ll be up to us to know what’s inside when life squeezes us.

I’ll leave you with a video that explains it in a way that made sense to me.

What comes out when life squeezes you?

Recommended reading:

The Stellar Man – John Baines

Want more bullshit-free wisdom? Check out my latest book “Streetwise Philosophy (A Bullshit-Free Approach to Spiritual Maturity).”

Grab your copy at any of these online retailers.

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Dana Gore

Author of the books "A Simple Guide to Exercise Safety (What You Don't Know CAN Hurt You)" and "Streetwise Philosophy (A Bullshit-Free Approach to Spiritual Maturity)", Dana Gore is a health and fitness professional, wellness coach, and freelance writer. Dana brings guidance to the public about how to achieve optimal health in a safe and structured manner while inspiring her readers to seek self-awareness and inner peace as a means to well-being in all areas of life.

8 thoughts on “What Comes Out When Life Squeezes Us?

  • at 6:31 pm

    Hi Dana,

    I can tell when you’re in a bad place because your articles, status updates, and other things are more mellow and thought provoking. I know you’re a very “deep” person and that’s one of many things I love about you. I don’t like seeing you down and wallowing around, though. You are much too beautiful a woman to not be upbeat.

    There have been many times in my life that I’ve been in a very bad place. Each situation was handled differently, as no two situations are ever the same. Each time, even when I felt like dying, I managed to push forward. I am a survivor, as you are. We may get knocked down but that only makes us dig deeper inside ourselves to find the way to overcome.

    Thank you for sharing this article with us. I made me think back to some of my worse ever times in life and I can finally say I’m thankful for that experience. It has made me that much stronger of a person.

    Hope you’re having a great weekend gf. Muwah!


    • at 9:26 am

      Hey Bren,

      Thank-you my friend. I appreciate that.
      I may have been a bit down over the last little while, but I’m not wallowing around. I’m still creating, learning and following my own advice about using well-being when I’m not in a great place.

      I see so many people come across as happy all the time. Some might be, but with a lot of them, my bullshit meter starts going off and it starts to come across as fake. I’d take a real frown in a person over a fake smile any day. At least you know what you’re dealing with.
      When I write, I feel like I can only say what I actually mean, so I’m honest about where I am and how I use the tools I discuss in my work when I need them.

      We all go through crap in life. Almost everyone I know is dealing with something painful right now for some reason or another like I am. I figure I can use my blog to talk AT people and stand up here like some guru – or I can keep it real and say “hey, I get it. This is what I’m doing and it helps me – maybe it’ll help you too.”

      You’re authentic with your work so you understand the benefits of connecting with people, even under unpleasant circumstances. It’s like sharing a virtual cup of hot chocolate (or herbal tea) with someone. Soothing, comforting and perhaps healing on a cold rainy day.

      So don’t worry about me. This isn’t the first, nor will it probably be the last time I’m not walking on sunshine – but like I say in my posts, I USE these things for growth, understanding and awareness. They become tools – and tools are only beneficial if you need to use them.

      Thank-you for caring about me and for our friendship. Enjoy the rest of your weekend B 🙂

  • at 5:07 pm

    Hi Dana. Thank you for your honesty and openness in sharing this post. Most people don’t do that. I think it takes a lot of strength to honest with yourself and fully accept who you are.

    I think we need to stop seeing ourselves as flawed, broken and imperfect. I know that we are taught to, but I don’t think it serves us. It’s part of the programming to keep us down. I think it is OK to be angry or disappointed in the moment that something happens. There is energy there that needs to be released and it can be harmful to keep it in. The key is to let it out and let it go, not dwell on it for more than a few minutes, like most people do.

    I think when we can stop beating ourselves up over perceived flaws or imperfections, then we have the ability to change them. It could be like rearranging the furniture in your living room. It isn’t a flaw that the chair sits in the left corner. That’s just where it is right now and it doesn’t serve me there, so I’m going to change it. I’ll move it closer to the window so that it gets better light for reading. Likewise, you have a character trait. It served some purpose in the past, be grateful for that, but it no longer serves you. So accept it for what it is and then change it.

    I know that is easier said that done a lot of times, but it is an approach. Accept it as part of your perfection, then change it. You can’t be anything but perfect, and perfect can change from time to time.

    • at 9:53 am

      Hi Ben.

      Wise words.
      I appreciate that you feel I’m strong and honest. The truth is that we all go through crap. If I’m gonna share tips and advice (or whatever you want to call it), it’s better to speak from the heart. I can’t do that if I’m trying to come across as something I’m not at any given time.

      What you said about accepting things/traits about ourselves is true. We judge ourselves harshly if we don’t measure up to these standards set by society. But yes, these “imperfections” offer contrast. If we pay attention to them and get curious about them instead of disowning them or running away from ourselves, we’re not only in a position to truly transcend ourselves, but we learn a lot about others as well.

      I look back on certain things and feel deep regret over how I behaved in the past and how I treated many people. I was completely unaware of what I was doing. I can’t go back and change things, but I can sure use those memories as a tool to help me become a more compassionate and thoughtful person. I also see what was in me that caused me to be the way I was – which led to the things I did.
      I realized I’m not so different from others. We ALL have many of these undesirable traits and if they go ignored, we take that shit out into the world and contribute to the chaos. Sometimes in small ways, other times in large and destructive ways.

      I like your example of the furniture. Yep – sometimes these things serve a purpose for a while. In my case, my past sure did. But then instead of being so harsh and judging it (which I did for a while), it became “ok, not useful now. I see how this doesn’t work, why (out of nescience) I may have thought it did to begin with and how it’s time to change/ rearrange things. Maybe I can even arrange this room so that it’s not only more functional for me, but everyone else who visits as well.”

      It’s a constant process of evolution. There was a time when man focused on evolution in the physical sense. Now it’s time to evolve in consciousness. Being “civilized” doesn’t cut it any longer. Too limited and vastly misunderstood.

      I thank you for your thought provoking contribution to the discussion Ben. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • at 2:12 pm

    Hi Dana,

    This post went straight to my heart. The “not so good” times I have had were actually debilitating sometimes. But it always seems to be a blessing in disguise. Even if lessons are learned later. I chalk it up to growth. And sometimes that old saying “No pain no gain.”

    Life will squeeze us…it is all part of it. But it is up to us to “know thyself” and I do believe it is a work in progress. As long as we don’t give up or give in..we are changing and growing.

    Hope all is well with you my friend.


    • at 10:01 am

      Hi Donna,

      I’m glad this went to your heart.
      And I know you get it.

      I appreciate you being so candid about going through your own stuff. You’ve used your pain wisely. This is where free will comes in. How do we work with what we’re dealing with? Hopefully consciously. Otherwise we’re walking emotional reactions to our pain. This is a huge reason there’s so much chaos in the world – and why “knowing thyself” and assuming personal responsibility for ourselves is so important.

      You’re an inspiration to me and many others, and it’s because you’re real.
      We’re all a work in progress and will be for some time. I do, however, feel humanity is headed in the right path now though. It’ll take a while and the effects of what’s been caused over eons of time is still playing out with momentum – but I think we’re finally realizing it’s up to us to change directions and how to start going about it in a more useful way.

      We do this when we’re aware of what’s inside of us.

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I always value your contribution Donna 🙂

  • at 10:02 pm

    Hi Dana,

    You’re posts are always thought provoking.

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better Dana. I know what it’s like to be in a place like that and sometimes it’s harder to climb out.

    I think we’re all a work in progress – it’s true none of us are stellar people I think we can strive to be and it starts with accepting our faults and imperfections as well as that of others.

    The same thing happens to me when life squeezes me – my problem is I judge myself too hard and I think others see me the way I see myself.

    Great post Dana! Hope you’re having a great night.

    Feel better!


    • at 8:47 am

      Hey Cori,

      I think it’s pretty normal to assume people judge us the way we judge ourselves. We project our ideas onto others and they’re usually not even based on anything solid.

      I’m glad you found the post thought provoking. I figure it’s important to be willing to see what’s within us – good, bad or otherwise. Imagine a world where everyone consciously took responsibility for who they were. Not easy to do, but when we pay attention to what comes out when life squeezes us – it’s certainly possible.

      I appreciate your comment and your visit. Hope you’re having a great week so far Cori 🙂


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