I want to start by saying I can’t take credit for coming up with the title for this post.
That honor I’ll give to Dr. Wayne Dyer, who taught me something many years ago that still impacts how I respond to life during times of adversity.
Now I want to keep things real by admitting that even though I dispense tips and ideas about personal development and consciousness on this blog and in other articles I write, I am no guru – nor have I mastered my own ability to always do what’s “right.”
I still get upset when life screws with me. And I don’t always act like an adult either.
What I do have, however, is the ability to observe myself and others. I also have attained what I would call “wisdom” during times of intense feelings of connection to something I can only describe as awareness.
That being said, when I’m privy to such times of deep insight, I remember what I’ve learned. I am able to connect dots and see a big picture. This picture involves the world, humans, myself and how everything is connected to everything else.
We live in a world of Cause and Effect. One thing leads to another. It always has, it always will.
Some of what we observe we may be able to trace back to specific causes, others go so far back that even our ancestors may not know what caused what we’re dealing with today.
But I’m going off topic here, so forgive me.
What this is about is the fact that even though we think we know things, it’s when life calls for us to act on this so-called knowledge that determines true wisdom from a false sense of intelligence.
Knowing is knowing.
Knowing + doing = action.
Doing from a conscious level of knowing is a form of self-mastery.
Doing because it IS you and doesn’t require the need for duality or contrast is what is called a Stellar Man.
I don’t know anyone who falls into that last category, so I won’t elaborate on it for now. But such an individual does exist. We should all hope to become a Stellar Man (person) one day, but until then, I’ll settle for simply being a better version of myself with each experience I encounter.
Sometimes I do well when life squeezes me. Other times, not so much.
In fact, I’ll share where I’ve managed to grow and where I’m still struggling.
I have nothing to hide.
What Comes Out When Life Squeezes Us?
I’ve mentioned a few times in previous posts that I have not been in a great place recently.
I feel better than I have in a while, and I’m grateful for that.
But I’d be lying if I said there’s an easy fix for what ails me.
This is because I’m keenly aware that what gets in my way is ME.
I have self-imposed limitations – many of which are tough to deal with sometimes. These beliefs I have about myself, my worth and my abilities go way back. Like the ancestor remark I made earlier, I’m not sure if I’ll ever find out exactly what has caused me to feel the way I do about certain things – or what it is within me that gets in my way.
But I do practice what I “preach”, and this has been the difference between having awareness vs. being someone who relies on outside circumstances to make me feel better.
I also don’t run from my pain.
My ability to get to know thyself is why I see others so clearly. I recognize myself in so many people.
So what comes out when life squeezes me?
I’ll share the good and the not so good. I think you’ll recognize a bit of yourself in what I have to say. Maybe, just maybe – if we can own what’s within us, we’ll bring our shadows to the surface and heal some of this stuff once and for all.
This is why I’m sharing this part of myself with you.
I use my flaws as a tool for growth. When I become aware of what exists within me, I know what I contribute to the world.
It matters because everything we do matters. When the majority of humans truly get this and make it a point to be ok with being mistaken, flawed and aware of their deep conditioning – then, and only then will the world as we know it now improve.
So with that said, here is how I play my part.
What Happens When Life Squeezes Me?
- I observe my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- I allow my pain to communicate with me.
- I don’t judge myself any longer. I remain aware that I do the best I can with what I have to work with and strive to be a kinder, more compassionate and less judgmental human being toward myself and others.
- I call upon my strengths to guide me through turmoil, but I also acknowledge my weaknesses.
- I hold myself accountable for everything in my life. Not always so easy to do, but it sure beats blaming others.
- I learn quite a bit about my own faults and flaws. It makes me more understanding and forgiving toward others who are also doing the best they can with what they’ve got to work with.
- I become wiser.
The Not So Good
- I am perfectly capable of whining and complaining. I witness myself doing it, but sometimes, that child inside of me wants to pout – and she sure does.
- My immediate reaction to some of the painful things I encounter is to assign blame. I catch it, but I still find it easy to point the finger sometimes.
- I throw pity parties. Yep – I do. I’m usually the only one who feels like attending, and that’s what helps me snap out of it quickly.
- I allow feelings of defeat to get the better of me sometimes. I consider throwing in the towel with everything I strive to accomplish. Then I remind myself that I’m not in this for the results. I trust what I do. I know it comes from a real place. But when I feel like my efforts aren’t paying off, I am perfectly capable of wanting to quit.
So as you can see, I’m still a work in progress. I’m sure I always will be.
We all are.
None of us are perfect. We aren’t Stellar people. But if we can be ok with our imperfections and be willing to allow our shadows to present themselves to us without judgment, we’ll be in a position to accept the totality of who we are. This is where transcending into a more conscious, compassionate and wiser version of ourselves is possible.
When life squeezes me, I care about getting to know what’s inside.
So many of us spend our time running away from what/ who lives inside of us. We deny ourselves the gift of self-awareness. It comes disguised in pain more often than not, so to cope, we mask the pain or try to avoid it.
Imagine a world filled with individuals who own themselves and make it a priority to stop blaming everything and everyone else for their problems.
A victimless society filled with people who are conscious enough to face truth, question their thoughts and beliefs and assume personal responsibility for their choices and actions.
Maybe you’ll see something valuable in what I’m saying – maybe you won’t.
But from what I’ve observed, it’s become clear to me that if we ever have a shot at transforming this violent, destructive and harsh world we live in into something kind, peaceful and benevolent – it’ll be up to us to know what’s inside when life squeezes us.
I’ll leave you with a video that explains it in a way that made sense to me.
What comes out when life squeezes you?
The Stellar Man – John Baines
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