Why You Are the Creator of Your Own Experience (and What You Can Do About It)

I am beyond thrilled to share I AM My Imagination’s first guest post!

I met Sylviane Nuccio a few years ago when I had first visited her blog. She shares insights about travel, writing – and understanding the subconscious mind.

I have always been fascinated with the human condition, starting with my own. So when I discovered Sylviane’s work, I was impressed with the amount of knowledge she has about the role we play in our own lives.

I am privileged to know Sylviane, and I’ve gained some valuable insight from her book, How to Transform your Life in 14 Days: A Step by Step Guide to Change your Mindset Forever”. In it, she offers us a hands-on manual to enable us to take better control of our lives and achieve success and self-empowerment.

Today’s post is going to be a treat because she’ll be discussing a topic I know we can all benefit from.

So without further ado, here’s Sylviane.

Why You Are the Creator of Your Own Experience

You feel that you have no control over your life.

You feel that what happens to you depends on circumstances or luck.

Worse even, at times you may even feel that you are the victim of some type of punishment and that you are paying the price for something you have done in the past.

Whatever the case, you believe that what happens to you comes from something outside of you. Outside of your control.

At least, that’s what you’ve been taught to believe, and for the most part, you have been willing to accept it as truth.

Most people never challenge what they’ve been taught from infancy because it could be very scary to dare thinking any different. This is the case even in societies where we like to call ourselves free thinkers.

But what else is there?

Aren’t we just victims of our own destiny?

Is there anything else out there?

And what about people who are suffering at the hands of others, aren’t they simply true victims?

Well, the way our world operates is not necessarily as you think it is. But if you are willing to have an opened mind, you can once and for all free yourself from being a victim, to becoming a total creator of your own life experience.

In this post I will do my best to explain to you how and why you are the creator of our own experience, and what you should start doing right now if you do not like what you see.

But first, let’s understand all the basics.

You Can Only Be Aware of What You Have Been Taught

I wasn’t any different from anyone else.

I grew up in a family where being the creator of your own life experience wasn’t something we even considered. On the contrary, in my family we believed in being victims all the way through, having bad stuff happening to us and having no control over it.

As a matter of fact, my mother was very anxious and superstitious too.

As a child, I caught a lot of that anxiety from my mother, and I had to fight not to fall in the trap of her superstitious circle, that had been transmitted from mother to daughter for as long as I can only imagine.

It was just part of life like it’s the case for millions of other families out there.

The problem when you grow up with such beliefs is that not only you are light years from even considering the concept of being the creator of your own experience, but you become very vulnerable to the things and people that are surrounding you. You are indeed like a boat without a rudder.

And where there is no control, there is vulnerability.

How I wish to have known that I was responsible for the negative things that were showing up in my life!

Because knowing it would have made me so much stronger, and it would have actually revealed to me the root of many of my problems.

But for that I would have needed to know what I know now.

Sadly, I didn’t.

That’s why I decided to write this blog post today, so you too can free yourself from encumbering beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

But before, let’s see why it might be comfortable to believe that you have nothing to do with what happens to you.

Why Believing that You Can’t Do Anything is Comfortable

Believe it or not, many people like to be victims.

Try to tell someone that they have created their own misery, and they might get very angry at you.

“What do you mean people create their own pain and suffering?”

It’s crazy, right?

Yes, we like to believe that we couldn’t help what happened to us.

Why is this the case?

Because it’s way easier to accept that we are victims of random events, than believing that we are remotely responsible for it.

After all, no one in their right mind would bring about violence, pain and sorrow upon them, now would they?

Of course not.

Neither you nor I would ever bring anything negative into our own experience. At least, not consciously.

But what you need to understand is that it’s not our conscious mind that’s running the show here.


It’s our subconscious mind that’s running the show.

And it’s very sneaky because the subconscious mind doesn’t rationalize, analyze or judge anything in any way.


Because that’s not the purpose of the subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind can only play what it’s been programmed with. And that’s where the problem comes from.

Let me explain…

A computer programmer will program a computer so that the computer will perform properly and do the job that it’s supposed to do. However, if another computer programme infiltrates a virus in the system either purposely or by mistake, the computer is going to start acting in a way that’s interfering with the proper functionality of the computer.

The computer doesn’t think or analyze, it’s going to act according to its programming whether it’s a good programming or one infected with a virus. Once it’s got a virus, the computer will keep functioning according to the defective programming.

It’s the same thing with our subconscious mind.

If any type of “virus belief” (as in destructive) has been put into your subconscious programming, especially between the ages of 0 and 7 years old to a large extent, and until age 16 to a smaller extent, your subconscious mind is going to run the show, as it’s supposed to be doing, but some serious problems may show up as a result along the way.

Unfortunately, the majority of people walking the planet have had some type of negative subconscious programming from day one. Let’s be honest, most of us have grown up learning to expect pain, hurt and other bad things.

Indeed, most of us grew up learning that it’s normal to suffer, be poor, be sick, and so forth.

Your Subconscious Mind is Running the Show

There will always be a large part of our subconscious programming that we’ll never know about, but as you observe what’s happening to you, let’s say that it’s a tale-tell sign.

We are not attracting consciously, but we do attract circumstances, people and events around us according to our subconscious programming, which creates our experiences as per the law of attraction.

The reason why we can attract some less than desirable stuff to ourselves is that we have no clue about what’s going in on in there.

Now it doesn’t mean that you are guilty of anything. You can’t be guilty of something that you were never aware of in the first place. However, it doesn’t change the fact that whether you’re aware of it or not, you are the creator of your own experience from the inside out, so to speak.

Be very honest with yourself, and look at your life. Can you pinpoint at least some of the negative things that have happened to you? Can you see how you might have created them subconsciously?

I can promise you that the deeper you’ll go in getting to know yourself, the more answers you will be getting.

Here Are My Own Examples

As far as I’m concerned I wasn’t angry when I learned that I was the creator of my own experience, as some other people I’ve seen reacting to this.

On the contrary, I was relieved to know that I wasn’t just the unluckiest person I knew.

But most of all, that there was a reason to my miserable experiences. And if there was a reason, it also meant that there was a cure.



There was a reason and I found the cure.

Starting at age 4 until age 16 I was bullied in school every single day, and I lost my father at age 5.

Of course, all of that became part of my subconscious programming.

The 3 ways our subconscious is programmed as children is from what we hear, see and experience.

Abandonment and aggression became “normal” because they were part of my subconscious programming. And that’s why it was going to following me all throughout my life.

I was abandoned many times, and every single boyfriend I ever had, including my two ex-husbands, were bullies.

I got pushed, slapped, called names, and abandoned over and over again throughout my life.

I created this in my life.

Not consciously, of course, but I did created it subconsciously.

My subconscious mind always made sure to create that aggressive environment with a touch of abandonment for me.

No need to feel guilty or to get mad here. Just accepting the fact that due to a deficiency in the programming of that part of my mind that is subconscious, was the cause for the type of environment that I created for myself.

There isn’t any doubt that I did create those things. I know I did.

Of course, at the time I felt like the worst victim on earth, just like anyone else would have felt, but once I’ve discovered this revealing truth it was the beginning of a tremendous healing for me.

How Does it All Work?

Our universe is made out of laws.

Just like there is the law of gravity, there is a law that is called the law of attraction, which means that what we focus on expands.

However, what we focus on doesn’t depend only on our conscious mind, but to a greater extent on our subconscious mind. And because our subconscious mind is a hundred times more powerful than our conscious mind, it kind of cancels it out, so to speak.

So for example, you could say out loud many times over “I’m a millionaire” but if your subconscious programming is “I’m poor” that’s going to be your real point of attraction.

It’s not so much what you say that counts, but what you think and feel.

That’s why many people are saying that positive affirmations don’t work.  Affirmations always work, but only if you truly believe what you’re affirming, and if they don’t contradict a subconscious belief of yours.

That’s how we become creator of our experience.

You are going to attract circumstances and people based on your deep subconscious beliefs, which will match such beliefs, according to one of the most powerful laws of the universe that we call the law of attraction.

Facing the Root of the Problem Will Set You Free

There is no need to get offended or defensive when learning that you are the creator of your own experience. Even when the experience kind of sucks.

Also, the fact that you now realize that bad things happen to other people as a result of their subconscious programming, doesn’t mean that you are not sensitive to what happens to them, it only means that you understand what is really going on behind the scene.

We are living with a subconscious programming that is affecting our lives in ways that we don’t always appreciate, and more times than not beyond our understanding. But the good news is that armed with such knowledge we can learn how to remove such bad programming and replace it with a brand new one more of our liking.

Once you do this, you will notice that your life will turn around for the best.

Yes, it’s possible to get to the root of the problem and change your subconscious programming, so you can stop being the victim of circumstances and events you thought you couldn’t control.

It might be impossible to truly know one hundred percent of what’s in your subconscious programming, but it is possible to get to know a whole lot about it still. Once you do, you can replace your negative programming by a positive one, just like you would tape a new song on top of an old one.

This is what I help people with.

I help people to become aware of their subconscious mind and help them heal that so important part of them, in order to be more successful in all areas of life. So they can become the true conscious creators of their own experience.

You too, can heal your life by becoming aware of what’s going on in your subconscious mind – your subconscious programming – reprogram it with the use of your conscious mind, and getting better results in all areas of life.

So you don’t have to be a victim anymore.

Over to you…

Do you try to gain insight into your own mind? Are you aware of how you create your life?

For Profile

About Sylviane Nuccio

Sylviane Nuccio is a Certified Professional Life Coach living her dream life traveling Europe. As she does she’s helping people reaching out to their own dreams and financial freedom. Take advantage of her free 30-minute coaching session, and discover how you too can improve your lifestyle.


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Dana Gore

Author of the books "A Simple Guide to Exercise Safety (What You Don't Know CAN Hurt You)" and "Streetwise Philosophy (A Bullshit-Free Approach to Spiritual Maturity)", Dana Gore is a health and fitness professional, wellness coach, and freelance writer. Dana brings guidance to the public about how to achieve optimal health in a safe and structured manner while inspiring her readers to seek self-awareness and inner peace as a means to well-being in all areas of life.

34 thoughts on “Why You Are the Creator of Your Own Experience (and What You Can Do About It)

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  • at 8:32 am

    Hi Sylviane,

    What a fantastic post. Your openness, transparency and willingness to share your own vulnerabilities is a true to testament of your own growth and of how you can help others.

    I have always been fascinated with how the brain works and is wired. Studying NLP was a big win for me personally in so many ways. Learning that my subconscious was the driver was powerful and why what put into our minds is critical to understanding what we get out of life.

    We get what we put into it. I like to say that our subconscious doesn’t know the truth from the lie, fact from fiction or reality from fantasy – it only knows what we put in it over-and-over again.

    So, if we tell ourselves lies or listen to people who tell us lies about ourselves then what do we think the results of our lives will be?

    The are the sum of the stories we tell ourselves and others tell us. So, it’s important to figure out consciously what we need to start telling ourselves.

    Great post Sylviane!

    Dana, nice one in picking up Sylviane for your first guest post!!!!

    Have a great end to your week ladies.

    ~ Don Purdum

    • at 1:35 pm

      Hi Don,

      I truly have no problem what so ever to discuss my past to make a point or help people. I hear often the word you’re using here “vulnerability,” but interestingly I don’t see it that way at all, because I’m no longer vulnerable about any of this. That vulnerability is long time gone.

      That’s exactly right, the subconscious mind doesn’t judge in any way, that’s not its job, and the more we get to know it the better it will be for us. Bad enough that there will always be a part of the subconscious mind that we will never fully know, but we can still learn lots and lots from it, by knowing it.

      Thank you so much for your excellent comment and for sharing, Don.


    • at 10:14 pm

      Hi Don,

      Thanks so much.
      Yep, asking Sylviane to be a guest on my blog is actually long overdue, but better late than never.

      I can relate completely to what you said about how we become the sum of the stories we tell ourselves and what others tell us as well. I came to this realization a few years ago…and once I did, nothing was the same ever again.

      I literally watched my entire world fall away as if it had been a structure of some sort…and in my mind’s eye, it crumbled away.
      It was like “everything I had ever believed to be true was bullshit”. It didn’t mean it all was, it just meant everything had to be re-evaluated with new eyes because I had finally realized how programmed we were.

      The whole experience was WEIRD to say the least!

      So yes, when you get this, you can’t help but to gain an understanding of why your life is the way it is because we become what we believe. And when take into consideration how our emotions are intertwined in these stories…that’s a whole “nother” load of work to get into.

      I’ve never used NLP, but I know others have. I’ll have to look into it because I’m curious to see what it is.

      I appreciate your insight Don. Thanks so much for chiming in 🙂

  • at 10:24 pm

    Hi Dana and Sylviane,

    Isn’t it always the case, that even when you know your subconscious is pulling all the strings in your life, it’s not so easy to take back the controls.

    This was a really interesting approach to a subject that has haunted people forever.

    It gets to the heart of why we allow our self-talk to take over for us, even when it’s detrimental. It also hints at behavioral issues like addictions, eating disorders and the like.

    I find that most people understand that their subconscious is determining things like success, happiness etc. But they don’t know how to begin to get control of their subconscious.

    The Law of Attraction gives some clues to reprogramming our brains, and affirmations are always a good starting point. You point out the problem with affirmations and retraining efforts, though. That is that despite what we tell ourselves, we need to believe it.

    I believe strongly in what I call “situational” reprogramming. To make a long story short… as you alter your situation, you alter the way your subconscious mind perceives who you are. In other words, you can start managing your self-talk instead of being, as you say, a victim of it.

    You’ve certainly given us an awful lot to think about in this article. I think the whole issue of managing our subconscious and altering our mindset lies at the root of who we are as opposed to who we aspire to be.


    • at 2:03 am

      Hi Donna,

      Indeed, it’s never easy to manipulate a functionality that is unconscious such as the subconscious mind.

      The subconscious mind is a very, very complex thing and it’s not easy to unlearn what the subconscious has learned which is actually also a positive feature.

      For example, I learned to drive with a manual speed car, and even though I drove an automatic car for the past 10 years straight, yet when I started driving a manual car here in France it was like I had never stopped. That is thanks to the subconscious mind.

      However, it works pretty well with negative stuff as well. Negative programming can kick back in very easily as well. That’s why it’s a daily effort to make sure we reprogram and maintain our new programming, so to speak 🙂

      Thank you so much for commenting and sharing, Donna.

    • at 9:56 pm

      Hi Donna,

      I find your mention of situational reprogramming interesting. The way you explain it (or at least the way I’m interpreting it), you are making a physical change and this is what helps to reprogram your thoughts. Sort of like working from the outside in.

      I do happen to feel that we can always make a behavioral change before making an internal one first. People use the term “fake it till you make it”…and this is what that reminds me of.

      It’s a complex topic – one that I know I’ll always be a student of. When it comes to change or self-improvement, I don’t feel there are only absolutes. There are variables. But one thing is for sure…

      The inner world and the outer world have to work in harmony in order for anything to go well. We can think the thoughts first and allow the behavior to follow suit…or we might change the situation first – which would enable new belief systems.

      As long as we’re present, aware and paying attention to who we are and what we’re trying to accomplish by being the witness of ourselves, people will find different ways of making changes.

      The entire subject fascinates me and…and one thing I do know is that learning about these topics is a life long journey.

      Thanks for your comment Donna 🙂

  • at 12:33 pm

    Hi, Dana and Sylviane

    What an excellent post about the subconscious mind.

    It is so true that all our belief and activities are controlled by the subconscious minds whose function is like that of the gravity force of earth. The subconscious mind is shaped by the experience of our growing up processes.

    We can control our future adventures until we have the courage to deal with our subconscious minds face to face. Where is the courage coming from? The courage can only be generated inside us until we are sick and tired of miserable and unfulfilled life we are having.

    We have to pick up the courage as soon as possible because it is more desirable to live in positive and abundant manner.

    Love this post a lot.

    Stella Chiu

    • at 1:39 pm

      Hi Stella,

      I’m so glad that you like my post, and I see that you know what the subconscious mind is.

      I would say that the more your subconscious mind is a mystery to you, the more you are going to wounder through life, thus the strong need to face it as you’re saying and get things straight, so to speak.

      Thank you for your input.


    • at 7:35 pm

      Hi Stella,

      I’m so glad you enjoyed Sylviane’s post.

      I totally agree with what you said about getting sick and tired of being miserable. That’s really what it takes. I know that when it came to my eating disorders in the past…the reason I completely healed from that is because I grew annoyed with living that way and decided enough was enough.

      But…all of this takes dedicated work in regard to looking within. As you’ve said, we store our childhood experiences in our subconscious minds.

      We become walking emotional reactions to the stories we’ve developed about our experiences…without questioning if they are completely true.

      It’s up to us to break the cycle, and this process takes nothing short of constant practice. It really is a full time job, but well worth it.

      I really appreciate your insight Stella. Thanks so much 🙂

  • at 12:32 pm

    Well hey there ladies! What a pleasant surprise to see Sylviane here on your blog Dana and congratulations for this being your first guest post. You’ve picked a great person to share their knowledge with your audience.

    Sylviane and I have been friends now for several years and I also purchased her book because I wanted to continue learning from her and support her.

    I think the best teachers are those who have been there, done that and come out on the other side. I remember when I first learned that I was the creator or my own experiences too. I was pissed as most people probably would be if things hadn’t gone as planned. I look back at a lot of things that happened in my life and I STILL to this day don’t know why it happened and thinking back to how I was thinking in those days I’m still confused. Maybe I’ll never know about some things because when I was younger I was so happy and I thought the world was mine.

    I love to learn though and as time went by I started to see a pattern, especially when I knew that what I wanted would eventually be mine. I knew it with all of my being and no one could change my mind. I always got what I was thinking about too although it did take some time. I now know you have to put feelings with that too.

    I wish everyone would learn these lessons because I know a few people who are just miserable. They don’t see what Sylviane is sharing here, they still are eager to blame it on outside circumstances or other people. It’s sad really but until they come to that realization there really isn’t anything we can do to help them.

    Thank you Sylviane for sharing your knowledge here and glad Dana invited you to be her first guest post. Yay!!!

    Enjoy your week ladies.


    • at 1:34 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      There will always be a part of our subconscious programming that we won’t fully understand, no matter what, and thus some things that we are going through and can’t’ fully understand. However, we a decent knowledge of what’s going on in there we will be able to explain most of it.

      I know for me, I can explain all the main circumstances and events of my life, and that’s why I was able to stop making the same mistakes and getting very different results.

      I’m so glad that you’ve got to know so much more about you and about life.

      Thank you so much for your constant support, Adrienne, and you have a good one!


    • at 7:29 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Thank-you for sharing your enthusiasm about Sylviane being my first guest. I’m thrilled to be able share her message here.

      I would say that part of what I love about her work is that she’s a walking example of taking control over her own experiences. This isn’t easy work because as you’ve mentioned, many are still eager to blame outside circumstances or other people. I know I’ve spent many years doing the same thing and it took a lot to look within and assume personal responsibility for what resided in my own mind.

      It’s like you’ve said…if we stop and look, we start to see patterns. It takes a deliberate decision to stop and witness the storms brewing within and around us and try to see the common denominator. Since people, jobs and circumstances change so often in life…if we’re still the same, then it’s because we’re the ones responsible.

      It’s a painful wake up call, but worth it. It sure beats waiting for others to change.

      It’s always good to see you here Adrienne. Thanks for stopping by and enjoy the rest of your week.

  • at 3:48 am

    Hi Dana, Hi Sylviane

    Thanks for this wonderful post! It is very easy to say that we are the victims of the situation or the system. Infact we are the ones who create such situations or the system. But instead of taking responsibility for that, we find an easy way out and declare ourselves the victims.

    The post really made me think that the day we start taking responsibility of our actions, we will become more better people.

    • at 10:13 am

      Hi Sonal,

      I find it refreshing that you’ve pointed out your observations in regard to the system. It’s easy to blame things outside of ourselves for what we don’t want in life…but even these systems exists because of our participation in it.

      That’s part of the programming. There are some cool developments within many of our systems, but without having a conscious understanding of how we think, we accept the ideas (the will) of others as objective truth and unquestioningly go along with things that don’t serve us well…and feel like victims as a result.

      Everything that occurs in life happens with our participation. Our ability to use discernment is the key to whether or not these things that develop becomes an asset in life, or a liability. This is where the subconscious comes in because when we aren’t aware of the totality of a situation (or at least many different angles), we participate on autopilot and don’t understand why life looks the way it does – individually and globally. We aren’t in touch with our belief systems and because of this, we allow creation to create FOR us rather than WITH us deliberately.

      Great points Sonal. Thanks for your comment 🙂

    • at 1:24 pm

      Hi Sonal,

      Yes, so well said, and you have totally gotten it, I would say.

      People are not aware of their power for the most part, but thankfully the message is getting more across now than ever before. I hope that we’ll get to a point where we fully understand our responsibility in what happens around and to us.

      Thank you for coming and for your input.


  • at 9:16 pm

    Hi Dana and Sylviane,

    Congrats on publishing your first guest post, it must be exciting.

    This reminds me of what my father used to tell me when I was a kid, how I was in control. But at the time I didn’t get it. I just kept looking at the things that were beyond my control.

    Now I’m much better. I always try to pay attention to my thoughts to avoid the old frame of mind from creeping back in.


    • at 2:41 am

      Hi Lea,

      I can imagine how hearing “you are in control” without filling the blinks could have been both empowering and confusing at the same time, however it’s great to have a parent who knows that and tries to teach it to their child.

      Thank you for coming by and for your input.


    • at 10:03 am

      Hi Lea,

      I also remember hearing throughout my life that I was in control of things, but at other times hearing that I wasn’t – so I can understand any level of confusion as far as that’s concerned.

      It’s only because we know what’s playing out in our conscious mind – as those thoughts are attainable whereas the subconscious ones (which are responsible for most of our experiences and are what we react to) are not so easy to be aware of.

      Like you, I pay attention to my own thoughts as well. It’s so helpful, and pretty revealing, but always a work in progress as this is a never ending journey.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • at 3:27 pm

    Hey Dana and Sylviane,

    What a great post on how your subconscious mind plays a big role in what goes on in your life.

    I was never aware of thus for a long time and I thought I was always the victim like most people. It wasn’t until I watched “the secret” and listening to Abraham Hicks CDS of how powerful the subconscious is.

    You mentioned how affirmations is tied to what has been programmed in your subconscious which explains why they don’t work for me LOL. I might have mentioned this before but I started doing Afformations which instead of making positive statements you ask yourself positive questions. This work wonders for me and its a great way to go deeper into your mind to come up with your own answers.

    Thanks for sharing Sylviane and you both have a great rest of the week!

    • at 7:11 pm

      Hey Sherman,

      Sylviane wrote an awesome post didn’t she? I am so thrilled to be able to help share her message here. I love her work and I knew others would appreciate what she has to say.

      Yep, affirmations didn’t work so well for me either back when I gave them a try, and it was because I couldn’t trick myself into believing something I didn’t.

      Like you mentioned, I think asking questions is a great way to go when it comes to gaining insight into your own mind. The idea is to be completely honest with those answers, and that isn’t always so easy because most of our inner-bullshit is buried pretty deep within us…and the stories we create on top of them have to be dismantled before those hidden layers can be revealed.

      Asking good questions doesn’t always lead to answers…but may lead to more thought provoking questions. When this happens, the answers can be awe-inspiring because who we think we are isn’t who we are at all.

      As always Sherman, I appreciate your insightful comment. Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂

    • at 2:37 am

      Hi Sherman,

      If you are familiar with Ester Hicks/Abraham, then you know all about what I’m talking about here. I wish every one knew that too.

      I know that you have written a post a while back about “afformations” which have helped you believe in your affirmations. Anything that helps someone to believe in their affirmations works.

      Thank you for coming and have a great day!

  • at 11:37 am

    A great post, thank you for introducing Sylviane. I so agree that taking responsibility in our lives is the first step. It can also be the scariest step. For me, when I began to take responsibility for my unhappiness, I was terrified, because it meant I would have to allow all my buried feelings to the surface. I literally thought it would kill me. But I did it, with help. And now I am so grateful I did, because I can walk through life with freedom and awareness. Thanks for a beautiful post! 🙂

    • at 6:55 pm

      Hi Val,

      I can relate to what you said about the fear of allowing your buried feelings to surface. I remember what it felt like when I had first taken a good, hard look at what was living inside my head, and the most painful part of it all was how much responsibility I had in this.

      Our subconscious mind is completely neutral. It doesn’t care “what we think about what we think”…it only responds to those thoughts and therefore, creates accordingly. Facing our own inner-stuff is scary, but so necessary in order to gain awareness as to what’s playing over and over again.

      It’s so cool that you have allowed this awareness of yourself to transpire. I have no doubt you’re experiencing a level of freedom because of it.

      I appreciate your contribution to the conversation and I’m thrilled that you’ve enjoyed Sylviane’s post. Take care 🙂

    • at 2:33 am

      Hi Val,

      Indeed, it’s tough to face our demons, but once we do it we wouldn’t want to go back. I’m so glad you did that.

      I’m glad that you enjoyed this post and thank you for coming.


  • at 11:17 pm

    Hi Dana, Thank you for introducing Sylviane. Such a great guest post. It is definitely much easier to believe we are victims of circumstance than taking responsibility for our choices and behavior. This post gave me so much to think about. Thank you.

    • at 10:05 am

      Hi Shann,

      To some extent, we can’t even take responsibility for what happens to us, since for the most part it’s subconscious, and more often than not people are NOT aware of their subconscious programming. However, in today’s world, for those who want to dig deeper and find out WHY things happen, it’s possible to find answers. We don’t have excuses to stay in the dark anymore.

      I’m very glad that this post made you think, and thank you for reading it.


    • at 10:11 am

      Hi Shann,

      I’m glad you got something out of Sylviane’s post.

      I definitely feel that assuming responsibility for the situations in our lives is valuable, and it’s a first step. I’ve realized in time though that it goes beyond this because it’s the hidden messages of our shadows (which live in our subconscious mind and communicate to us without our awareness of it) that draw certain things to us and influence our responses or reactions.

      I appreciate your comment Shann, and I thank you for stopping by.

  • at 2:10 pm

    Hi Dana! Hi Sylviane!

    Thank you for being vulnerable in this post, Sylviane. Like you, I was bullied as a child. No one deserves that. It can do great harm to the one being bullied, especially starting with no or low self-esteem. I’m sorry you had to endure that.

    As I child, I grew up in a racist and alcoholic family. Thankfully, I didn’t let either of those filter down to me. I have always been friends with people of all races and never became an alcoholic. However, my first couple of loves were dysfunctional addicts. Sadly, they were like my father. After hitting rock bottom, I decided to turn my life around and never looked back. I never allowed myself to fall victim again nor will I ever in the future.

    Getting in touch with our subconscious is a must, is it not? To learn why we think the way we do is fascinating to me. However, I still don’t want to fall victim to what was embedded in my head as a child. I am my own person now and am happy with who I am.

    I really appreciate your post, Sylviane. It really makes one sit back and think on their life. Thank you.

    And Dana, thanks for a great guest!

    Happy Monday ladies!


    • at 6:44 pm

      Hey Brenda,

      Wow…thanks for sharing all of that. This is what I appreciate about the blogging community. Honest and candid experiences that everyone can learn from.

      Like you, I am fascinated by the human condition. And I think it’s pretty easy to live our lives on autopilot when we don’t truly know what we’re thinking. We are only aware of a small percentage of thoughts…while it’s the large and hidden source of our thoughts that run our lives.

      I think it’s inspiring that both you and Sylviane were able to get in touch with your internal environments that were the result of your upbringing. Considering that we have spent our lives being programmed by our surroundings from the time we are born (and possibly even before that while still in the womb), it’s pretty easy to fall victim to the unquestioned messages and conversations that take place within us.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I knew Sylviane would have something fantastic to share. Thanks for stopping by Brenda 🙂

    • at 10:00 am

      Hi Brenda,

      Yes, indeed, I remember you telling me over at my blog that you had been victim of bullies as well, and it’s bound to affect anyone for sure.

      I am not surprised that you got as partners people who resembled your father, because a girl will often do that, that’s why the father figure is actually more important for girls than it is for boys.

      In my case, since I’ve lost my father as a small child, I would only fall in love with men that were way older than me. And that for a very long time.

      I am so glad that you are totally refusing to be a victim any longer. We MUST value ourselves like treasures and never think of ourselves not deserving of the best.

      I’m like you, Now I want only the best, and I’m totally done with any of my past mistakes.

      Thanks for your great input.


  • at 1:44 pm

    Thank you so much for this opportunity, Dana.

    It was my pleasure to write about a topic that is still very confusing for many, yet I know that many people are thirsty to understand, and I feel that this post will help them to do so.

    I can only think of myself when I learned those revealing and freeing concepts. My life has never been the same since. That’s why I love to share those things today.

    Thanks again for the opportunity, and I will share it everywhere.

    • at 6:29 pm

      My pleasure Sylviane. Sharing your work here has been something I’ve wanted to do for a while, just needed to get things rolling.

      I can say that it isn’t easy to get in touch with the contents of your own mind. We think we know what we’re thinking, but as you pointed out, those are our conscious thoughts. It’s the thoughts we don’t know we’re thinking (subconscious) that run our lives.

      I can speak from my own experience that it takes a concerted effort to actually stop and witness your own thoughts. Until I knew this was something I had to do, I had simply allowed them to take off on their own – and began to realize why I did the things I did for so long.

      Still a work in progress here, but at least I’m on the right track.

      Thanks again for shedding light on an otherwise confusing topic. I know people will get something amazing out of this.

  • at 1:09 pm


    Let me be the first to say how much I appreciate this beautiful post.

    I have personally gained so much from your work, and I am thrilled that you are the first guest to have contributed to this blog.

    I related to what you teach in your posts when I had first started visiting your blog…and I loved your work immediately.

    Self-awareness is the key to how we live our lives, and you explain how to best get to know ourselves in a way that is clear and easy to understand.

    It’s a complex topic, and one I know many of us benefit from once we start doing the work. That work is challenging because it means we have to face some pretty hard truths about ourselves – and that isn’t easy.

    I see that many of us are walking emotional reactions to our own minds, and getting a grasp on this and seeing it for what it is takes time and dedication. I’ve shared some of my own examples in other posts here in regard to catching myself thinking thoughts that I needed to stop and witness, and it’s humbling (yet revealing) to say the least.

    I thank you SO much for contributing this thought provoking post. I have no doubt that everyone who reads this will find a lot of value in it.


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