Let’s face it, most of us experience self-doubt.
The idea that we’re incompetent, incapable or unlikable creeps in and destroys every good thing we try to accomplish.
I know I’ve dealt with it – and to be honest it kinda sucks. But I’ve also found a few ways to deal with self-doubt and I’d like to share them with you. The good news is – they’re simple, realistic and 100% bullshit-free.
Ready? Then Let’s get started.
3 Ways to Conquer Self-Doubt
1 – Question your thoughts and beliefs
Have you ever actually stopped and asked yourself if what you’re thinking is even true? I sure didn’t, but once I started doing just that, things began to change.
I mean, think about it…
From the time we were born until approximately around age six or so, our thoughts, beliefs, and opinions were formed by our surroundings, our impressions and experiences, and by those closest to us. We weren’t able to construct a conscious and deliberate thought at that age, so we became a walking emotional reaction to our inner and outer worlds.
And by the time we were able to have conscious thoughts, the foundation beneath them had already been set.
Rather than allow ourselves to develop true emotional Intelligence, we continued to build our interpretation of ourselves and the world based on our conditioning.
The good news here is that you can start to break this habit by reminding yourself to pay close attention to your thoughts. It takes practice and consistency, but if you can learn to stop and witness what’s playing out in your mind at any given time, you’ll start to become a critical thinker instead of one who thinks by default.
2 – Reflect On Your Positive Traits
I would be willing to bet that you’ve got at least a few positive characteristics to offer.
What are they?
Are you good at solving problems?
Do people think you’re a good listener?
Are you known for being punctual? Responsible? Caring? Compassionate? Funny?
Whatever it is, it counts. So play it up.You probably have a gift. Maybe you don't know what that is yet because you've been chasing an idea of what you think you should be. #freeyourmindClick To Tweet
Instead, learn more about who you really are and work on ways to enhance your positive traits instead of fighting against yourself based on who you believe you SHOULD be.
3 – Hang out with people who think you’re awesome
How many times have you ignored or dismissed the compliments and praises of those who’ve said good things about you?
Yet, chances are you’ve probably latched onto all of the criticism you’ve received; regardless of how small it was because you were focused on your negative beliefs about yourself and therefore, any positive feedback you’ve gotten probably flew over your head, unnoticed.
That’s a shame.
See, going back to tip #1 – when we don’t question our thoughts and beliefs, we assume them to be objective truth. They aren’t, but with enough belief in our inner-conversations, it wouldn’t matter what anyone else says about us because we’ll only absorb what we believe to be true.
And if we believe we suck, then we won’t hear anyone who tells us otherwise.
The most effective ways to start dealing with self-doubt are to question your thoughts and beliefs, to reflect on your positive traits and to spend more time with those who value your worth.
Once you feel better about yourself, you’ll have more courage and creativity because you’ll have started to clear the useless gunk that clutters your mind.
The Time to Start is NOW
Instead of waiting until something comes up that causes you to doubt yourself, start questioning your thoughts now.
Pick out the first self-sabotaging thought that comes to mind and dissect it. Ask yourself things like:
- Is this absolutely true?
- Where did I pick up this idea?
- Is it possible there’s a different perspective?
- And so what if it’s true that I really don’t believe I can ____? Do I have a different set of skills, talents or abilities that I CAN use intelligently?
I don’t say these things lightly – and that last question is important.
I’ve spent plenty of time doubting my own abilities. Some of the things I’d like to do just aren’t a natural part of me – and that’s ok. Instead of fighting against who I’m not, I’ve gotten in touch with who I AM. I play upon my strengths and use those as much as possible. As far as the weaknesses go, I work on them, but I don’t struggle or fight with myself.
That’s the key.
For example, I’d love to be comfortable in front of the camera. I’ve been creating videos, but I’m just not a fan of being on screen. My self-doubt kept me from creating video content for years because I didn’t believe I could pull it off. But once I asked myself if I had any strengths I could use – and if there were alternate possibilities, I realized I could make things work, but I just had to go about them in a different way.
So these days, I do make videos – and I don’t have to be on screen (watch the video above). I can still get my message out there, but I don’t fight with myself over what I “can’t” do.
I made it happen – and while I will be on screen in upcoming Study the Solopreneur videos, they’ll feel more natural since it’s a conversation instead of me talking into the camera.
It’s a way to ease into something that scared me for years – so much so that I waited until now to get started on something I wish I had done a long time ago.
Better late than never, but I still regret letting my own self-doubt control me for so long.
Working and Struggling Are NOT One In the SameYou don't have to struggle to conquer self-doubt, but you do have to put some work in. #iammyimagination #emotionalintelligence #learnnewskillsClick To Tweet
Your feelings will speak to you if you ask yourself the right questions.
Maybe you don’t believe you can manage a specific task – and that by trying to force yourself into it you’ll only avoid it (possibly forever). So instead, ask yourself what you feel you can do – even if it means you have to learn some new skills to do it.
By applying these techniques, you could very well be on your way to achieving an important and meaningful goal. You start chipping away at this giant obstacle piece by piece – doing what you feel you can do, realistically, and then working your way up to some of the more challenging aspects of things by being honest with yourself and confronting some of these ideas you’ve been carrying around that may not have merit.
Just decide to do the necessary inner work to get to the root of your self-doubt. You’ll find out exactly what you think and believe about yourself. With this information, you’ll be well on your way to living your truth because you’ll know what’s inside of you and you’ll bring it to the surface. Then you can take a good look at all of this and develop a plan to work with what makes you YOU – in whatever way seems most natural.
I hope this puts things into perspective – and I’d love to hear how things turn out for you.
Conquer your self-doubt using these three steps. There’s no time like the present. The book Choose Awareness is an excellent tool to help you on this journey. In it, you’ll have an opportunity to learn about how to become aware of your thoughts, how to use your past wisely, how to change the way you look at things – and a whole lot more.
Until next time, take care.