I have a treat for you today…
I had the pleasure of meeting Adrienne Smith a few years ago. I was one of the contributing writers for a health and wellness website and it was my responsibility to reply to comments left on my posts.
Now at the time, I was new to the whole blogging scene. I knew people left comments here and there in response to some of the articles and videos I would see out there, but they were usually vague and not terribly personal.
So when the time came for me to read Adrienne’s comment on my own post, I was pleasantly surprised – to say the least.
Here was a woman who not only clearly read what I had written, but communicated her thoughts about it in such a way – it was as if we had known one another for years.
I thought “wow…she’s so cool! If this is how she leaves a comment, I HAVE to visit her blog and see what she’s all about“.
So I did.
And I’ve been hooked ever since.
Adrienne is one of the most genuine, authentic and successful people in the blogosphere. This is because she’s the real deal.
I’ll let you discover what she’s all about for yourself in this honest, inspiring and thought provoking post.
I’m especially thrilled to share her message on my birthday weekend. It’s a wonderful gift for me – but in truth, it’s really something special for you.
So without further ado, here’s Adrienne.
Why Losing My Job Actually Saved My Life
I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was a Friday, September 8th and it was the year 2000.
I was working away at my desk and my best friend’s Mom called me and said, “A, you’ve got to get here quick because Chuck isn’t going to make it.”
Her daughter had been my best friend since we were in our early 20’s. Chuck was her second husband and we used to call him our big ole teddy bear. He was a big cuddly guy and one of the sweetest men you could possibly meet; a pure joy to be around.
The weekend before was Labor Day so that Saturday Chuck had cooked out on the grill and they were enjoying one of his fabulous steaks.
They had two children, an 11 year old daughter from my best friend’s previous marriage and a five year old son. Chuck had gotten up from the table because he wasn’t feeling well and went into the bedroom to lie down.
The last thing the kids remember was their Dad being taken away on a stretcher. He looked over at them both and said, “I love you”.
He lost consciousness in the ambulance and never woke up again. He’d had a hypertension stroke to the brain due to stress and he was only 43 years old.
How Your Job Can Actually Kill You
Chuck’s job killed him. Okay, maybe not just the job but the stress related to the job as well as other issues that he worried about.
Doctor’s will warn you that stress is a killer but until you witness it first hand, most people think “well that will never happen to me.”
Guess what! Chuck NEVER thought it would happen to him either.
With the way the economy is, so many people are working at a job that they hate. Do you honestly know just how dangerous that can be for you?
Chuck didn’t hate his job and at that time I didn’t hate mine either. The issue is the workload we’re given because a lot of companies were cutting back. Some people would gladly take on more work so they would seem more valuable to the company and hopefully not lose their jobs.
There are so many things related to this but we all have to learn how to get control of our thoughts and our actions or this could be you.
I sure as heck didn’t want it to be me…
Pay Attention To The Signs
Less than three years after losing Chuck I lost my father.
We all sat on his bed holding onto him as he took his last breath.
It was Sunday, February 23, 2003, at 11:00 pm.
For the next two years, I fought the worst depression I’ve ever faced in my entire life.
I was a Daddy’s girl I admit, and I loved my Dad with every ounce of my soul. I didn’t fall into a downward spiral just because I had lost my Dad although that was SO hard. It was the WAY I lost my Dad that sent me over the edge.
His own doctor of over 15 years abandoned him in his time of need. Due to things he didn’t divulge to the family, my Dad didn’t get the care he needed at the most critical time in his life which lead to his death.
I’m not sharing these stories with you for sympathy, I’m sharing them because you might be one of those who needs a wake-up call.
Stress is a killer but unlike Chuck, I got help. I was in therapy for almost two years and I was on antidepressants. I let my anger with the doctor get the best of me and it took me to a place I never ever want to visit again.
After finally coming back to the somewhat old me, I was never the same after that, I knew just how unhappy I was with my career.
I knew because of what happened to Chuck that I was going down that same path.
I was approaching my late 40’s and no longer enjoyed my career. I had and still do have a pretty high work ethic yet the people they kept hiring just wanted the money and could care less about the job.
At that time I was the executive assistant to the owner of the company as well as office manager. That meant everywhere they slacked off I had to make up their work yet I was a salaried employee which meant no extra money.
Heck, I didn’t even get a thank you. It was just expected of me.
What the hell is wrong with this picture!
Is this the way people should be treated?
Hell no, but this is what’s happening to not only me but so many people who are stuck in jobs and situations they don’t want to be in either.
Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.” ~ Stephen R. Covey
Personal Development Saved Me
It was December 2006 and I was introduced to the movie “The Secret”. Like so many people who watched it after it came out I was immediately under the impression that all I had to do was just believe that I could be anything I wanted and it would happen.
Let me tell you my friends, I was a BELIEVER!!!
In January of 2007 when I was given the pink slip due to yet another downsizing I actually danced out the door. I kid you not; I seriously danced out that door.
My co-workers thought I was nuts but I was SO happy because I had a new lease on life and I was NOT going to be like Chuck.
I was NOT going to let those jerks get the best of me and I was going to go out and conquer the world.
Am I where I thought I would be?
No…
Was it easy to get where I am today?
HELL no…
Would I do anything differently?
Probably not…
As Dana shares in her posts and Sylviane shared in her guest post, we are in control of our lives.
No one else, just us.
We truly can be, do or have anything we want. No one is going to hand it to you on a silver platter either, you have to create it and trust me when I tell you this…YOU CAN!!!
Walking away from corporate America was the best thing I could have ever done for myself although I struggled for years to find 1) what I wanted to do and 2) my place online.
I wouldn’t be where I am today though had I stayed where I was. I would probably be with Chuck and my Dad by now.
You have control over your own thoughts and feelings. I let them get away from me after I lost my Dad but knowing what happened to Chuck, I knew where I was headed if I didn’t do something about it.
Learn from those before you, learn from those who have been through it and made it to the other side. Know that you are magnificent and never ever ever let anyone else convince you otherwise.
I’m proof, Dana is proof, Sylviane is proof as well as so many others.
Let your imagination run wild. Think different thoughts, visualize what you want, be in that place and that moment and feel what it would be like if it were true.
Do the work my friends and watch your life change before your eyes.
I’m not a personal development coach but I’ve lived it, I’ve done it and so can you.
Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period. ~ Will Smith
Be Inspired
I hope what I’ve shared can inspire you to do, be and have whatever you want in your life.
The time is now to start so do whatever it takes so you can be living the life you’ve always imagined.
Dana and I would love to hear from you so please let us know your thoughts in the comments below. Hopefully you haven’t had any of your own struggles but I have a feeling that we all have dealt with something right!
Be the creator of your own life. I can tell you honestly that I LOVE mine.
About Adrienne Smith
Adrienne Smith’s passion has always been to help others. She started having tremendous success with her blog in early 2011 and over time built an amazing community. She teaches others how to do the same in her course, “Build a Blog Community”. She also consults with entrepreneurs who are eager to take their blogs to the next level.
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maxwell ivey says
Hello; I’m always finding my good friend and mentor adrienne smith on other people’s blogs. one of these days I’ve got to have her on mine. 😉 I love her story and even more her willingness to share it so openly here. I am also better off for having lost a business. In my case it was a family carnival that I was pushed out of by my cousin. But he did me a favor because now I am focused on my own businesses and my own dreams. I have had the time and space to get physically healthy. I am at the best weight of my life and no longer on any prescription meds. Life is too short to do a job you hate or live somewhere that doesn’t suit you. With the way the u s and world economy have been going lately I hope there are many more people who have gotten the opportunity to do what will make them happier and be the person they were meant to be. thanks for sharing, max
Dana Gore says
Hi Max,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
I was thrilled that Adrienne shared her story here. It was not only inspiring, but serves as a necessary warning about the dangers of stress – in addition to what life looks like when we aren’t happy with our jobs.
I’m sorry to hear about what your cousin did, but it’s cool that you’ve found the hidden blessing in what could be otherwise experienced as adversity. That takes a lot of courage.
I think it’s great you’re in the best shape of your life and happily working on your business – especially if this is something you’re passionate about.
Adrienne is a fantastic mentor to all of us, and since she’s so relatable, it’s easier to grasp what she teaches because she’s so humble and real about her own ups and downs on the path to success.
I appreciate your visit Max. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Adrienne says
Hey Max,
Welcome to Dana’s place as well and I was happy to write something for her audience. Kind of a personal story but I think the message is something people need to hear. You know that old saying, “it will never happen to me”! Well it does my friend and I don’t want it happening to anyone else I know.
I’m glad that things turned out the way they did for you as well. Had they not no telling where you would be right now. I think a lot of things happen for a reason and we just have to be open enough to listen and continue moving forward.
Thanks for the visit and comment Max. Great to see you and you have a great week.
~Adrienne
Dee Ann Rice says
Dana and Adrienne,
Danna it is great to meet you through Adrienne. Thanks for having Adrienne as your guest so I can meet you.
Adrienne I know stress kills. I have heard that so many times. I also know that I let my self get stressed all to often but it is not from a job it is just from life.
I do have a job but I don’t find it stressful. I would love to quit it though.
It is really to bad that Chuck had to die and leave two children who were so young. He had so much life left to live.
I really do try to learn from others and you have given some really good lessons we can learn from other people in your post.
I love personal development and watched The Secret when it came out also. Personal development has gotten me through some really rough times.
Great lessons and great post. It will help a lot of people.
Dee Ann
Dana Gore says
Hi Dee Ann,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
I love that Adrienne’s friends have stopped over here to read her post. It’s awesome meeting new people – but her message is the important part.
I hate knowing that someone’s life ended because of stress. I know of so many people who have – and currently do suffer the effects of stress (and most of it happens to be job-related).
We’re all products of our upbringing. Most of us weren’t taught entrepreneurialism in school, nor were we encouraged to be independent thinkers or self-reliant.
We were, however, guided toward getting a good job and climbing the corporate ladder. It represented security – but we’re seeing now that working for someone else doesn’t always guarantee this. It also doesn’t necessarily take our well-being into account.
Personal development really is the key. I think many of us are starting to ask some better questions instead of simply accepting life as it is.
We are creators. We just have to know that.
Thank-you so much for stopping by Dee Ann. Enjoy the rest of your week 🙂
Adrienne says
Hi Dee Ann,
Thanks for stopping by and checking out my post. Stress definitely does kill and it’s just one of those warning signs that people like to ignore because they don’t think it will happen to them. Especially when you’re still young and at 43, Chuck was still young. He left his 5 year old son without a Dad and he’s never had a male figure to support him. It’s just sad.
I’m glad you at least enjoy your job although you would prefer to be at home doing your own thing. I know you have stressful situations with everything you have going on in your life too with your husband, your kids, your grandkids and your Mom.
Hang in there my dear and thanks again for your comment.
~Adrienne
Rachel says
Hey Dana / Adrienne,
What a story. I teared up at Chuck being carted out of the house on a stretcher, his last words were I love you to his kids.
Being a daddy’s girl you must have felt such a great lose. Your story is remarkable. Coming back from all you have been through to live and love your life. Truly inspirational.
I was working corporate Australia. Never too enthused by my jobs, but I loved my work ethic, nobody would have known I did not like making coffee for my boss. I did it with my everything. I did every thing with a sense of pride and urgency.
Now I do that with my own work and it feels good and honest and right. It’s okay that I am on a small budget, my heart and mind don’t have a budget or a schedule they dislike fitting into.
Thanks for making me feel sad, inspired, delighted and excited.
Rachel.
Adrienne says
Hi Rachel,
Oh, I’m sorry to make you tear up over what I shared. At the time I shed a whole heck of a lot of tears I’ll tell you. His step daughter remembers it like it was yesterday and that’s how she remembers him being wheeled out of the house. Her mother wouldn’t let her get in the way but they never in a million years thought he would die. My point exactly here, we never saw that one coming.
Losing my Dad was really the roughest thing I’ve ever been through and I’ve lost a lot of people during my lifetime. I also know he would never want me to feel down because of his loss which is the only thing that got me through.
I’m glad you’re happy with where you are even if you’re budgeting along the way. I’ve always been so budget conscious anyway so if I have to cut back even more working at home I’m thrilled to just be my own boss now. It’s SO rewarding plus I get to help people.
Thanks for the visit and comment Rachel, I really appreciate it. Hope you’re enjoying your week.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Rachel,
Adrienne’s post did have quite an effect didn’t it?
I know what you mean about visualizing Chuck’s last interaction with his family and feeling emotional over it. I’ve thought about it too since the post was published.
If this was your work ethic, then I have little doubt you’ll do well on your own. Starting out with a small budget is fine. Better than investing more than you feel comfortable with and regretting it later on with nothing to show for it. I’ve been in that boat enough times myself.
Adrienne’s post is both life-saving and inspirational. I know of SEVERAL other individuals who’ve suffered physical ailments due to job stress and misery. I know the loss of her Dad was heart-wrenching for her – but I feel he would be SO proud.
We both appreciate your visit Rachel – and we’re happy you’ve gotten something valuable out of this. I know it isn’t what Adrienne normally writes about, but I think it’s opened up doors of communication that can make a world of difference to those in need of this insight 🙂
Donna Merrill says
Hi Adrienne,
Very inspiring post, and I certainly understand how you felt when you ditched the J.O.B .
It’s quite liberating as you pointed out. Like a weight off your shoulders. I don’t hardly remember the corporate ball and chain. hehe I only worked that way when I was very young and I struck out on my own and never looked back.
I’ve lived my life, since mid 20’s, as an entrepreneur. Antiques, real estate, construction and renovation, and then I opened my professional practice as an intuitive consultant. I still do that today, along with my online business.
But I still remember the choking, stifling feeling of working for someone else to help them become successful instead of working for myself to attain my own success. Very demeaning and as you say, very stressful.
I’m sorry to hear your story with Chuck and your Dad, but as you learned… you just can’t hold the anger. It eats you up and leaves you empty. I’m very glad that you got help you needed to get past that. Now, you’re free as a bird and flying high 🙂 It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?
Very inspiring story. Thanks for having Adrienne be your guest, Dana.
-Donna
Dana Gore says
Hi Donna,
It was my pleasure to have Adrienne be my guest.
Adrienne’s story hits home for a lot of us. I know of several people who like their jobs and they’re treated with dignity and respect. That’s great for them and it should be this way.
But for those who find their lives in the corporate world to be a place of misery, they’re being given a very strong message. If they don’t listen to it (even if they don’t know HOW to change the circumstances yet), it leads to a host of problems. This is clearly demonstrated in this post, so I’m grateful to be able to help others gain access to it.
I know you’ve been living on your own terms for a while Donna – and that’s inspiring.
You have a lot to teach others, so figure I’ll be hitting you up for something to share with my visitors – if you’re up for it.
Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your weekend (and the new venture) 🙂
Adrienne says
Hey Donna,
I wish I would have taken a different path in my career when I was starting out. My Dad actually offered to help me start my own business but at that time I was working for a child care facility. I saw how they were run and that’s not what I wanted to do with my life. Some of those children were just craving attention and it broke my heart. I had no other option but to enter corporate America because I had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life.
I didn’t mind most of my jobs actually because for some of them I had some pretty cool bosses. Unfortunately, they didn’t own the company which is why I changed directions and started working with the owners. It still wasn’t pleasant at times but what’s a girl to do right!
Losing Chuck was SO difficult, he was such a great guy. I knew I would eventually lose my Dad but no way did I ever think it would have been like that. I was smart enough to know I needed help, I was fuming with anger that it was literally eating me alive. Everyone around me suffered from my rath and it was not a good time. But that’s proof of what those emotions can do to a person. That stress Chuck held onto took his life so I never want anyone to think they’re invincible. They’re just not.
I appreciate your visit my dear, thank you so much and happy to share this story with Dana’s audience. I sure hope it helped.
~Adrienne
Rob McDonald says
Hey Diana & Adrienne,
So glad to see Adrienne over here on your blog Diana.
Wow such a powerful story, and although I’ve heard Adrienne’s story before, it is just as powerful to hear again.
And this story really resonates with me as well. Its sad to loose loved ones this way, when you know it could probably haven been avoided, maybe, we will never know.
My year was 2012. I had worked for this company for 12 years and was working probably 70 hours a week. You guys know the story, it’s way too typical.
And it didn’t matter how much more I did, it was not enough for this company, as they gave my pink ship right after I had closed the financial month for them. Talk about low down.
I was mad and felt betrayed at the time, but when I look back on it now, I know they probably saved my life. I believe now, that I was well on my way to having a heart attack that would have probably killed me. I was under so much stress, that the hypertension had already set in and I couldn’t even see it.
I didn’t really hate my job back then, but with everything that they were putting on me, I am sure that I was not a fun person to be around.
And Adrienne, in your comments you mentioned that people keep doing these jobs as they don’t need to loose a job. And they would never just quit until it was too late. So I feel a little lucky in my case, that I was let go before something happened that could not be reversed.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble about me Adrienne, but your story could be anyones. And I think that’s why its so powerful, as so many people can relate to it.
Thanks so much Adrienne for sharing your story with us. And thanks Diana for having Adrienne on your blog so that she could share her story with your readers. I will be sure to share it as well.
I hope you both have a wonderful rest of the week and a great weekend!
–Rob
Adrienne says
Hey Rob,
So great to see you over here on Dana’s blog, welcome.
Wow, 12 years with a company only to be given the pink slip. I know the feeling, I worked with the owners of the darn companies and we were tight but things would just happen with them financially and the next thing you know I’m walking out the door.
I know a lot of times we can’t see that this is a blessing in disguise because we feel so betrayed but in your case, after you had plenty of time to really think about it, it was for the best. That’s how I like to look at things that don’t work out for us at the time. They weren’t meant to be and we needed to lose that in order to find something better.
I’m glad you’re still here Rob and in good health. I’m sure your daughters are and your four legged children too. Thank you for sharing that with us and I felt so many people could probably relate to this. I’m just glad you got the boot before it was too late.
Thank you for the visit, the comment and the shares. We sure do appreciate that. Have a great weekend and I’ll do the same.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Rob,
Welcome to my blog!
Well, first let me say that I’m personally happy that you were let go from that job. It sounds like it was sucking the life out of you – and even though you didn’t hate it, it was still causing you misery.
I believe our souls cry out for change when we know something isn’t right. Our intellect, however, can influence us to stick with circumstances that may not be in our best interests, but keep us in survival mode. We “cope” with things in an effort to live with conditions that keep us down, but those feelings inside of us know better, and they don’t go anywhere.
They manifest as stress, illness, depression and anger. Life becomes a dark place because we feel powerless to do anything to change the situation because we don’t see a way out. No one wants to be around us – and we don’t want to be around ourselves either. It’s a nasty cycle.
In your case, in Adrienne’s case, the decision was made for you though being let go. It turned out to be a huge blessing – one that has served you both well, but this only became evident in hindsight.
Adrienne is proof that with a strong enough will (and we all have Will as it’s a Natural Law Principle that governs existence), we either carry out our own – or we submit to the will of others. She decided to take charge, discover her own will and act on it. It’s a message we all need to hear, and it sounds like you’ve been doing the same thing.
I so appreciate your sharing your story here. You’ll inspire those you read your comment and recognize themselves in your experience.
Thanks so much for stopping by Rob. It’s great to meet you 🙂
Mitch Mitchell says
Even though I already knew this story, I’m always glad to see Adrienne talking about it, especially since this time she added the Chuck component. It’s never good staying in bad situations, yet so many people do because they feel trapped. I have my share of conversations with people trying to help them resolve these types of issues, but I also understand the fear they all have, especially when it comes to money. It’s a tough conversation, money or health; it’s hard to live without both.
Thanks for sharing again Adrienne, and it’s a nice feature on this blog for the rest of y’all! 🙂
Adrienne says
Hey Mitch,
Thanks for stopping by and yeah, you pretty much know a good bit of some of my “stuff”. I can’t even imagine having to be in a place where my health is compromised yet I have to pay the bills and you’re not in a place to just quit and not have something come in for a few years. Most of the working class people aren’t set up that well.
I just hope that they practice personal development more and get themselves in a better place because only then can things start to turn around for the better.
Appreciate your comment and compliment, thank you Mitch.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Mitch,
Always good to see you here 🙂
I know this was a tough subject for Adrienne to write about because of the personal nature of it.
But I’m glad she did because there’s a valuable message here.
I don’t feel we’re here to suffer or live a life of deprivation. I do, however, feel this is the way many of us live because we don’t see any other way out of it.
Part of that, in my opinion, has to do with self-doubt. If only more people understood that they have a purpose – and it isn’t to simply survive. Given that we’re taught from the early stages of our lives that we need to get that education to go out into the workforce and produce – it’s no wonder that many of us haven’t been taught this one valuable thing…
That thing is…
Know thyself.
Connect with who you really are – not with what society thinks you should be, do or have.
Our connection with ourselves is the most powerful thing there is.
Everyone has some type of purpose – but that’ll remain hidden if the erroneous thoughts we’ve been raised with (albeit by well-meaning parents, teachers, etc) remain the most dominant ideas we hold of ourselves.
I had to personally take a step back and witness my own thoughts and beliefs a few years back and it was quite revealing.
Turned out, I was wrong about life.
I DIDN’T have to follow the crowds, nor did I have to submit to a thought process that didn’t serve me well.
But I DID have to get real with myself and question what I thought I knew about life.
It was weird, but freeing.
Hopefully, Adrienne’s post will serve to encourage others to step away from their thoughts long enough to ask themselves how they really feel about things. Once we get honest with ourselves, we realize just how much of our own intuition we’ve been ignoring (and then we can’t stand doing it any longer).
Thanks so much for stopping by Mitch. I really appreciate your contribution 🙂
Irish Carter says
Hi ladies,
Can I just say…..”You rock my world!” I loved reading every bit of this and could relate to so much of it. I’ve seen so much of this with people living in the fast lane and going and going until their health was affected. I was one of those people a few years back. I had my day job and jumped into my work online full force with no distractions, no sleep and no slowing down. I was going fast, even had a short five minutes of fame as I like to say….haha. Health let me know it was not alright and the Irish that preaches her talk online needed to remember she needed to live what she talks about too. I learned to slow down and find my balance and work online my way so that I could be the best I could be for the people who are my fans. I appreciate them teaching me that and you reminding me of that. It brings back great memories now. Back then, they didn’t seem so great.
Dana…..a little tid bit for ya. I meant Adrienne in a somewhat similar way. Mine included some really special emails too with some great resources she offered. What is really cool is now I have some awesome memories of forming an online friendship with you too. I look forward to thinking about them down the road too the way I do of Adrienne. Thanks for sharing a fantastic read.
Irish
Adrienne says
Hey Irish,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing that with us. Oh wow, I’m SO glad you listened to your body because SO many people don’t. As in this case with my friend Chuck, it was too late for him and like most people he thought he was invincible. Don’t we all at some point? It’s those that actually listen to their bodies that make it to the other side. I know that working a full-time job and then coming online in what spare time you have and trying to be everywhere doing everything is just rough. I don’t really know if I could do it only because of what I have also personally been through myself. I’m no slacker either but my goodness, I have to have my sleep in order to not make myself sick too.
Awww, thanks Irish and you are one very special lady. I think the world of you and of course Dana too so you two ladies were destined to meet. Trust me, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 😉
Thank you Irish for your amazing comment and we both appreciate that so very much. You enjoy your day okay!
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Irish,
It’s so cool that we’ve met 🙂
It’s also refreshing to hear how things have worked out for you once you left your job.
I can understand the desire to jump into something you’re passionate about – even to the point of missing sleep, etc.
We hear it often that we need to do as much as we can as often as we can – and in a way, it’s true. It’s always cool to respond to inspiration when it hits – but as you so eloquently pointed out, doing so at the expense of our well-being isn’t the way to go about it.
I’m just happy, so many have resonated with this post. Adrienne has mentioned this is a different type of post for her to write, but in doing so, I think it’s opened some doors that none of us are even aware of yet.
Topics like this one are life savers.
And while I hate that no one can bring Chuck back here to be with his loved ones, there has to be something to the idea that his story can serve as a wake-up call for others.
Whether his Spirit knows it or not, he’s a messenger. Thanks to Adrienne, this message can reach others and hopefully, make a positive impact.
Thanks so much for stopping by Irish. Enjoy the rest of your week.
Lea Bullen says
Hi Dana and Adrienne,
This so reminds me of a friend of mine. Although losing his job didn’t save is life but it surely changed, which in his mind would be a savior. The massive shift just forced him to do something he never would have done otherwise. He was stalling on it previously.
It’s crazy how seemingly negative things like that can cause just a positive impact. Some people would rather have the stress to have a job, but is it really worth it? I mean there are other opportunities.
Glad you got out of there and I got the opportunity to connect with you. You’re awesome and deserve a pleasant life and work environment.
~Lea
Adrienne says
Hey Lea,
I’m SO happy for your friend Lea. I too was at that place that although the unknown was a scary place to be especially at my age with no support, it was SO worth it because I was SO miserable.
I remember my Dad always telling me. The day you wake up and hate to go to work is the day you need to find another job. He was right but every job I would find would put me right back into that same type of environment and they never improved.
The decision for me to come online was the best decision of my life and I do believe it did save my life. Studying personal development helped me cope with things better although death is still one I have trouble coping with period.
Thank you for your visit and I appreciate you sharing this with me. You have a great ending to your week okay! I’m SO glad we crossed paths as well.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hey Lea,
Always good to see you here 🙂
I totally get why it takes a negative situation to inspire the motivation to make a positive change. I remember hearing Anthony Robbins once mention that we’re motivated by two things in life…
1 – Running away from pain
2 – Going toward pleasure
Sometimes, things have to become so painful that the so-called “comfort” we settle with becomes uncomfortable enough that it becomes downright intolerable.
This is why I say that stress was never meant to be a chronic condition – but it becomes one. Any chronic condition becomes the new “norm” and we live with it.
Then it starts screaming, but by that time, things have escalated – sometimes to catastrophic levels.
In your friend’s case, I’m glad they followed their instincts and made the change.
No job, no relationship – heck no thought is even worth living in misery.
Thanks so much for stopping by Lea. Enjoy the rest of your week.
Sherman Smith says
Hey Dana and Adrienne,
What a great story here.
One of the worst things in life is being at a dead end job. Especially one that increases your stress level and doesn’t show appreciation for all you do.
I do consider myself lucky since I do work at a job I like. It can be stressful sometimes but my coworkers appreciation tend to alleviate that stress level.
But I do like the fact that there’s many options for all of us, and I tend to hint that to the students here, specifically the high school students. There’s so much we can do for ourselves that doesn’t require a 40 hour stressful dead end job. Thinking this way is a healthy way and we all can get to the point of acquiring the freedom we want.
Thanks for the share Adrienne! Thanks Dana for having her as your guest!
Adrienne says
Hi Sherman,
I’m SO happy to hear that you’re at a job that you enjoy Sherman. I think any job at some point is going to be stressful. I think what compounds it all for us is more and more work piled on us, no appreciation for what we do, no more compensation and an attitude that we just need to deal with it.
Because jobs aren’t as available as they used to be so many are stuck at a job they don’t enjoy or can’t find one.
There are SO many other options out there for us now besides flipping burgers. Granted, it’s not always an easy road either but it’s SO worth it because it can give you the time you deserve to enjoy life. But learning how to deal with what life throws at you is the most important message here. I wish I’d had those tools back then as well but I sure am glad I have them now.
Thank you so much for your visit and I so do appreciate your comment.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hey Sherman,
I’m the lucky one to have Adrienne agree to share her story with us here.
I knew she’d have something special for my visitors. Her thought provoking post has made quite an impact.
I’m glad you have a job you like. That’s important. I know there are many people out there who might encounter some stressful situations at the workplace, but if they’re treated well and their job serves to elevate them in life, then that’s awesome.
Unfortunately, more often than not, that isn’t the case. The workplace (for many) is a source of anxiety that creeps into the rest of their lives. More and more people are being overworked, underpaid and unappreciated.
In Adrienne’s case, she was lucky to have had the wisdom to listen to her instincts and go on her own when the time came. Not everyone does this – and as she discussed her friend Chuck’s situation, it reflects what many others are going through as well.
I thank you for stopping by and contributing your insight Sherman. I think you’re the first one here to mention having a satisfactory work situation – and that’s refreshing 🙂
Sherryl Perry says
Hi Adrienne,
I’m so glad I read your email today. Yes. I’m talking about the one that you sent Monday and “No” I have not been to your site to read your post yet. 🙂 As you know, I’ve been somewhat MIA in the blogosphere lately. I’m still working with clients and sharing content but other than that, I’ve been on a blogging break since late last year.
As you know, I couldn’t agree with you more about stress being a killer. What’s behind my blogging break is my husband taking early retirement. His job was slowly killing him. So, we made changes and we’re still adjusting. Bottom-line, we all need to find our own paths to happiness.
I wanted to let you know that your post resonated with me. It’s nice to meet Dana too. I’m always happy to find another “friendly” blogger.
Adrienne says
Hey Sherryl,
So great to see you my dear and you know I love you anyway girl! You don’t have to drop by and read my post, I know you’ve had your hands full since hubby retired, you have your clients and of course family! Well that just sounds like a wonderful life to me.
I remember us talking and you telling me how stressful things had been for your husband. I know first hand how that can be as you now know. Our jobs can actually kill us although I know most will say we do it to ourselves. Well maybe but when jobs are few and far between you have to do what you have to do in order to support your family. It’s just down right hard! But you definitely need to learn how to control it and I wish I’d gotten into personal development way before I did but better late than never right!
I appreciate you letting me know that you resonated with this post Sherryl, thank you my dear for taking the time to stop by.
Yep, Dana’s a wonderful person and a really friendly blogger.
Take care my dear and great to see you again.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Sherryl,
Welcome to my blog!
I’m so happy to see some of Adrienne’s friends stop by. It’s always so cool to meet other people in the blogosphere. MIA or not, you’re here now and that’s what matters 🙂
I know this post resonated with a lot of people. Stress is dangerous. It isn’t meant to be a chronic condition. It’s meant to be a lifesaving tool in a life-threatening situation. Carrying it around with us leads to a host of physical ailments. It also sucks the life out of us from a Spiritual and creative standpoint (especially when survival becomes the most dominant state of being).
What I love about this community is that you can take a break, but the relationships we’ve built last. I, too, had taken a step back from blogging and was welcomed back with open arms.
It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Thanks so much for stopping by
Tonya says
We all struggle with who we’re supposed to be versus who we want to be. And when it comes to work, we struggle with leaving a soul-sucking job versus having the money to pay for our lifestyle. I do believe there is more, I do believe good things will come and I’m happier than ever by not letting someone else suck my soul away. Thanks for the good reminder!
Adrienne says
Hi Tonya,
I love what you said Tonya, thank you SO much for sharing that. There is SO much more to life and it’s there for us to grab it. We just have to know it, believe it and move toward that instead of stay someplace we shouldn’t be at all.
I’m thrilled that you’re happy, I LOVE hearing that and I wish you the very best moving forward. Here’s to your fabulous journey.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Tonya,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
This —-> “We all struggle with who we’re supposed to be versus who we want to be.”
Absofreakinlutely! You nailed it.
We’re not meant to suffer in life, and this includes the workplace. Your terminology about this being a “soul sucking” situation is right on.
It’s amazing to me that those who are higher up in the workplace still don’t seem to realize that the way to produce better results is to make damn sure their employees (those individuals contributing to the company’s livelihood) are treated with dignity, care and respect.
Since this doesn’t happen as often as it should, Adrienne’s story not only reminds us of why it’s so important to listen to our bodies (and our instincts), but offers us an inspiring example of how it’s possible to go out on your own and succeed on your terms.
Thanks so much for visting and commenting Tonya.
Anant Patel says
Hi Adrienne,
Heart touching and very inspirational story. I agree with your statement that so many people are working at a job that they hate because they think that they do not have any other options or they think that what should they give answer at their home about their job
One of my colleauge just left job because he is not comfortable with his job. He worked in our company since 2 years but now he feels that this is not right place to work so he went to management and discuss with them about his resignation where he had some big dispute with management and he decided to left this job at a moment. After job hours I called him and I gave sympathy but he said that he is feeling really good today. He said that he feels peace in his life.
Today When I read your post I recalled him and I think that he was right in his decision. Too much stress really can make you seriously sick and shorten your life. Thats bitter truth of your life.
Thanks a lot for sharing such kind of topics. I get inspiration from your post.
Dana Gore says
Hi Anant,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
I’m happy to hear about your friend’s decision – simply because it sounds like he knew exactly what he felt he needed to do – and did it.
The fact that management didn’t give him an easy time of it most likely solidified his decision. I hope that whatever direction he takes, it ends up being a prosperous endeavor.
I’m glad you found Adrienne’s post heartfelt. I did too.
I appreciate your visit and contribution to the conversation.
Adrienne says
Hi Anant,
Thank you, I appreciate that.
Yes I see it a lot and even with some people that I know still. But at our age, in your late 50’s already, it’s scary to start over. If you don’t feel you have any other qualifications and with the job market the way it is, who wants to take that kind of chance. I never thought I would be here online and we both know this isn’t an easy road either.
I’m glad your friend is at peace with his decision. I know for me I definitely was even though I knew what was ahead of me was scary too. I was just SO ready for a new journey, a new future and sounds like your friend is too.
Stress can kill and that’s just no joke at all. Those who can learn how to control it have one up on us all. Those who don’t are really walking a thin line.
You’re welcome and thank you for that. I just know how important this topic is and I hope that someone has found a light at the end of the tunnel from having read it.
You have a great rest of your week okay.
~Adrienne
Christine - The Choosy Mommy says
Life is short and we really need to learn what to stress about and what not to stress about. Remember the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I think it is a great motto to live by!
Dana Gore says
Hi Christine,
I did love that book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. Quite a bit of wisdom in that.
To me, unless it’s a life saving/life-threatening situation – I think stress can act as nothing more than a signal that we aren’t ok with something – and we can pay close attention to that and start the work of self-analysis to discover what’s going on.
So many of us live in a chronic state of stress that we don’t even realize it. It becomes normal to us and we shrug off the signs or medicate them away.
Adrienne’s story points to the necessary work of self-awareness and personal development because this is what’s required to go within and delve into the cause of things – especially before they escalate to something severe (and sometimes, permanent).
I’m glad you stopped by and I appreciate your comment.
Adrienne says
Hi Christine,
Well in this particular case, none of that was the small stuff. Trying NOT to stress over things when it relates to life and issues that could potentially hurt your family is huge. What we have to do though is learn how to cope with it, how to get our thoughts and feelings into check and know that this too shall pass.
I’m with you on the small stuff for sure.
Thanks though for the visit and I hope life is treating you very well.
~Adrienne
Cynthia says
What a great great post! I recently made the decision to completely change my career path because while I loved what I did, I needed a change. My heart (and body) was telling me it was time to take the jump. Yes, I I love this post.
Adrienne says
Hi Cynthia,
Well I’m glad that you at least loved what you did and it wasn’t because of any other underlying issues. That’s never a good thing.
I hope you’re on the right path this time around and enjoying the journey. That’s always fun for sure.
Thank you for your comment and I appreciate you stopping by. Let me be sure to wish you the very best with your new quest.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Cynthia,
I say if your instincts told you it was time for a change, then they’re probably right (especially since you already loved what you were doing and you’re not trying to run away from your life).
New ventures can be exciting!
I’m glad Adrienne’s post inspired you. Life is too short to have regrets, so I think it’s awesome you’re taking a leap of faith to follow a new pursuit.
I wish you the best of luck with that – and I do appreciate your visit 🙂
204 Park says
I just loved this post! Through our hardest times often come our most valuable lessons. Life is precious and it is far too short to spend your valuable time stressing at a job you don’t LOVE! Thanks for the important reminder 🙂
Adrienne says
Hey Park,
Not sure what to call you so hope that will do.
Thank you, I appreciate your sweet comment and unfortunately a lot of us have to have horrible things happen in our lives before we have that wake up call. I mean with my Dad being ill my entire life I definitely appreciated life so much more than most people. I didn’t think for a second though that not being happy would hurt me in any way until we lost Chuck.
I was no way stressed like he was but the unhappiness I was feeling and the more time went by it just got worse. I realized what was going on and eventually did something about it. We all need wake up calls but I sure hope no one else has to lose their loved ones before they get theirs.
Thank you for your comment and you be sure to enjoy your week and of course your life. 😉
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hey Park,
I agree about life being too short (and precious) to spend at a job you hate. The same thing goes for relationships and everything else.
We aren’t here to suffer. We’re here to experience, perceive, create and express. We’ve been so busy surviving (through a model we’ve been taught from the beginning of our lives in regard to work) that we don’t see what it does to us.
I see changes taking place, though – and Adrienne is a perfect example of this. When enough was enough, instead of being a victim and looking for more of the same somewhere else, she took charge and created her life on her terms.
I find it inspiring, and I’m glad you did as well 🙂
Don Purdum says
Hi Dana and Adrienne,
Dana, you did so well getting Adrienne to share this story!
Adrienne, Anyone could be a Chuck at any moment. Bad diets, lack of exercise and jobs people hate is a recipe of disaster just waiting to happen.
One of the last times I talked to my Father nearly 12 years ago (and no, he has not passed to my knowledge but I have no relationship with him) he said to me; “Don’t ever let anyone tell you something is not wrong if you believe it is; it’s your body, not their’s.”
For years he was having struggles with energy levels and his diet was awful. Could you image eating two grilled cheese sandwiches, Dorito’s and a soda for breakfast?
In addition, he went through a horrific divorce with my mother and had these four kids. He was a federal gov’t employee and had a good pay and outstanding benefits.
For ten years he kept telling his doctor something was wrong, but they told him he was fine. Until it was so bad that he finally started doctor shopping until someone would listen.
Sure enough, he four major blockages in his heart and was on the verge of catastrophic death.
We need to listen to our bodies… I know some people need the money but a job isn’t worth our lives in my opinion.
There are always alternatives.
Fantastic article Adrienne! I’m glad you did not become a victim of job stress!
Have a great week!
~ Don Purdum
Adrienne says
Hey Don,
Well Dana just asked me to share my story more about how I got here so she was in for a surprise with what I actually shared too!
Exactly my point here Don which is why I want people to be aware that you NEVER think it will happen to you until it does. Just like my best friend Scott who passed away three years ago this summer of a heart attack at the age of 44. Three days after he turned 44. That’s just wrong in my opinion and he never thought that would happen to him either. I was devastated when I got that call too.
Your Dad is a very smart man when it comes to that. I also agree which is why with the passing of my Dad I learned the most valuable lesson of them all. Never believe a darn thing your doctor says, go get another opinion darn it. I don’t care how long they’ve been your doctor. We have a friend who eventually lost her husband but he would have been gone about four years earlier had she listened to the doctor’s. They just didn’t know his body like he did. You just know something is wrong so darn it they need to listen.
Chuck eventually decided to get help but it was too late. The day he had the appointment with the doctor was the day he passed away.
We need the money, we need to eat but the entire family will be in worse shape if that person is no longer even alive to try a new way.
Thanks for sharing that with us Don and I appreciate the visit.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Don,
Well, I may not have ever had 2 grilled cheese sandwiches and a bag of Doritos for breakfast, I’ve been able to snarf down 2-foot long Philly cheesesteaks in just a few hours of each other (of course with fries too).
Just had to throw that in there. Anyone can change 😉
I know about your and your Dad, but his words are wise – and if nothing else, I’m glad he’s said them to you.
We take things for granted – stress being one of those things we shrug off as “a necessary evil”. It’s only necessary for life-threatening fight or flight mode. It isn’t meant to be chronic. This is when it becomes a liability to our well-being.
While I’m happy Adrienne has shared what I would consider life-saving advice here, I hate that she came to this wisdom through the suffering and loss of those she loved.
I appreciate what you added to the discussion Don. You’ve been amazing when it comes to sharing your own personal stories here. I thank you for that – and I’m sure those who’ve read your comments do as well 🙂
agy says
Thank you for such a great post. I walked away from a corporate job after seeing what it did to my friends; it was heartbreaking. Many said that I should have just slacked off a bit and stopped being too responsible at work, but that’s not me. Now that I’m away, I have rediscovered and developed new skills. I’m looking forward to another leaf in my journey!
Dana Gore says
Hi Agy,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
I love that you mentioned how it was suggested that you slack off because this is what many people do. They compromise their work ethics because they aren’t being treated with the dignity and respect they deserve, so to “compensate”, they do less work.
I totally get it too.
But in truth, when someone actually cares about the quality of the work they provide, they cheat themselves by not producing in accordance with their standard of care. Their self-esteem suffers and they lose all creative ability. This is one of many ways the workplace situation can cause damage.
It’s also why customer service has gone downhill over the recent years. People don’t care as much because their livelihood isn’t cared about by their employers. It’s a vicious cycle.
Like Adrienne, I’m glad you decided not to allow your own work ethics to decrease due to circumstances. You’ll take that drive elsewhere and create something wonderful with it – just like she did 🙂
Thanks for stopping by.
Adrienne says
Hi Agy,
You’re so welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Well aren’t you the smart one. I’m glad though that you have gone on to do much more enjoyable things. I think developing new skills and headed in new directions is amazing. As you can tell it’s what I did and I never saw myself 15 years ago doing what I’m doing now. I would have probably laughed if someone had predicted my future but I so love what I do and I love getting up every morning and getting to work.
I wish you the very best and good luck with whatever comes your way.
~Adrienne
Cararta says
Hi Dana and Adrienne,
Stress and depression coupled are killers.
I can really empathize with Adrienne and her corporate job.
After spending 18 years
working in finance, (Administrative Assistant, Collection Manager, Mortgage Loan Officer),
it was a relief when our company was bought and anyone over 40 was gone when they
reconfigured all the branch offices.
It was demeaning to train all their little MBAs to do your job, knowing that as a new hire they
were being paid more than myself and one other woman who was lucky enough to be a
“trainer”.
I didn’t have the internet, but I had a dream…always wanted to be a nurse, so I had been taking
classes at night at the local junior college… without a job in sight, I withdrew some of my 401K, got a job at the IRS of all places and continued going to school at night..
Because I continued to work, it took a little longer, but was able to go full time the last year..
as required because of nursing clinicals requiring odd hours…night or day. .
One thing I haven’t mentioned: even though I logically knew that I was let go because of 1. my age and 2. my salary, I took a big hit in self esteem. I still can’t figure out why I let it bother me so much
that I was terminated, but it did.
After all, if they fired the Manager of another branch, even though he had just won the Presidents award as the best manager of the year…tells you that it wasn’t directed at any of us personally, just that we fell into the category “Over 40″……
Ending up graduating 3rd. in my class, older than all but one student did give me a boost. Passing the exams in Florida and Tennessee for nursing license was a breeze., but I still had some
work to do on me.
Sometimes think I have a shadow following me around. Probably wouldn’t hurt to take some
time and work on me instead of my computer!
My younger sister keeps saying, do what you want to do. Just decide and do it…..Imagine you are living and doing whatever you want to do.
Sometimes easier said than done.
Thanks for sharing Adrienne…something for the soul instead of the blog.
~Cararta .
Dana Gore says
Hi Carata,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
I’m sure Adrienne’s story spoke to your soul. She’s a living example of what so many of us deal with in the workplace. Her perspective and personal story are something we can all learn from.
I think it’s accurate to say we all have a shadow following us around. Our shadow is the unacknowledged thoughts, feelings and experiences we’ve shoved to the back of our minds. They don’t go anywhere, but they take up residence and show up as soon as something triggers us – and can act out in a number of ways.
I think your idea of taking some time away from the computer and placing it on self is an excellent one. Adrienne mentioned that personal development saved her, and I’ll attest to the fact that it’s done a lot for me as well.
Everything we do is an extension of who we are. And who we are is an expression of what lives within us. This includes stress – and it manifests in several harmful (and life threatening) ways.
I can figure that the way you were treated at your old job had nothing to do with you personally – it’s just that these businesses are built on profit, not people.
We. as a collective, aren’t cool with this any longer, but change is tough and the motivating factor to make a change may have to show up in the form of pain in order to get us moving along.
I’m glad you got something useful out of Adrienne’s heartfelt post….and I’m thrilled to have you visit my blog 🙂
Adrienne says
Hey Carolyn,
We sound like we’ve had similar issues with corporate America. Although I wasn’t let go of some of my jobs due to age I was let go because I was one of the ones that was hired last. It didn’t matter if my work performance was 100 times better then someone else in the same position, I just happen to be the unlucky one that hadn’t been there as long. I never let that bother me though even though of course I felt it super unfair. That’s why corporate America isn’t the best place to be because they make up their own rules.
I’m sorry that bothered you so much but you have to know deep down inside that it definitely had nothing to do with you personally. There should be a law against that now and I’m sure there is although with the last company I was with they did get around some of those.
The way I look at that is there are just some really ugly people in this world and I don’t care to be associated with them, end of story.
I’m glad that you went on to do what you wanted to do and I do suggest working on yourself. You’re an amazing human being and you truly can do whatever you want as your sister said. I’m just glad you don’t have stress or depression looming over you my dear.
Thank you for your comment and listening to my story, I really do appreciate that.
~Adrienne
Mi Muba says
Hi Adrienne
So glad to read you twice this week and obviously good luck is mine.
Didn’t know what was happening around me while reading this post because not only I was learning more about your past life but simultaneously had a lot of painful memories of my past life when I was the most obedient servant in a government department.
Just one incident in our life sometimes become the life-changing incident and after awhile we thank for its happening and also share our rejoicing with others how we gone through a big trouble that actually was a blessing in disguise.
The story of your friend’s husband is heart rending and also first time you shared the painful last moments of your father’s departure. I am really sorry my friend on this great loss of yours.
Many thanks for sharing this heart-touching post and a big thank you Dana for getting her here as guest author though my heart never like to call her a guest because she is wonderful friend and mentor of all of us, isn’t she?
Have a great rest of the week.
Adrienne says
Hi Mi,
Well it’s great to see you over here at Dana’s and thanks for the visit.
Yeah, I haven’t talked a lot about some of the things that have happened to me in my past. I’ve touched on the fact that my Dad had cancer my entire life and that I had been in corporate America for over 31 years. I just didn’t go into a lot of details behind that and I’ve only mentioned Chuck to a few close friends.
You’re SO right Mi, a lot of times it’s just one incident that can change the direction of our lives. For me it was several but having gone through all of those I definitely quickly learned to appreciate every single moment on this earth. That it’s not promised, we’re all on borrowed time so live today like it’s your last and stop worrying about things that don’t really matter.
I appreciate that, those 2 times are engrained in my mind and every time I think of them it’s like it just happened. Chuck has been gone now for 15 years and my Dad will be 13 this month.
I appreciate your kind comment Mi, thank you so much and I’m thrilled Dana wanted me to share more of my journey with her readers. I do hope that my story will help anyone who is in a place that’s not good for them and start making the necessary changes so that they’ll have a better life.
We definitely are friends Mi, you’re the best. Thank you my dear and enjoy your week too.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Mi,
It was my pleasure to have Adrienne share her story with us over here. The message is important, and I wanted to make sure it was heard.
You’re so right about the fact that sometimes these things come up in life that may be painful at the time, but turn out to be our biggest gifts. It’s really up to us as to whether or not we see it this way, but we do have the choice.
People are taught early on to withhold their feelings from themselves. To “suck it up and keep going”. There’s an aspect of truth to this from the standpoint of not allowing ourselves to wallow and ruminate in things, but we need to experience how we feel about our situations – including our work related issues because they speak to us. If we don’t listen, but instead, shove those things down, our stress levels increase, our feelings turn into toxic energy and we get sick.
Adrienne’s story speaks to us all. If we can heed her advice and start caring deeply about how we feel (and then take action from a place of present awareness), we can take any set of circumstances and become empowered by them.
Thanks so much for stopping by Mi. Good to see you here 🙂
Barbara Charles says
Hi Adrienne,
This is a great post…one of your best. Although I know your story as we’ve been friends for years, every time I hear it, your honesty and the depth of your feelings behind the words are inspiring! You are the most honest and down to earth person I know and your life. You are inspiring and this post touched me as I’ve not been touched before.
Thank you. Given me more to think on.
Thanks for making me think of what I need to do.
Love you,
Barbara
Adrienne says
Hey Barbara,
Oh girl, it’s great to see you. I miss you… Yeah, we’re pretty blessed to be friends and I’m thankful we met several years back.
I’ve mentioned both of these issues in passing at times with some people while not with many though. You know the story though and I guess it’s just part of what life dished out at that time.
I’ve given you something to think about. Huh, well I hope in the best way possible but having lived through these experiences I can honestly say that I never want to see anyone have to go through this at all. Our health is SO important and I’ve see so many people who work themselves to the bone, then they retire thinking NOW they can relax and travel the world only to have a heart attack and die. For what! A nicer home, a fancier car, a few more trips a year. Being with family, having a roof over your head and food on the table is sufficient. Life is worth living and enjoying so start today darn it. Life is too short.
Thanks for the visit my dear and you take care of yourself you hear! Have a great week.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Barbara,
I am personally thrilled that Adrienne’s post has had such a positive and deep effect on you.
I agree, it’s one of her best.
I think this is because we want/need to relate to one another. Life, in so many ways, has become so automated. We tend to forget the purpose is to connect with one another and share our experiences and perspectives to help one another grow.
I love that this post was so personal, and I’m happy it’s given you something to think about.
Thanks for contributing Barbara. Have a fantastic week 🙂
Imran Soudagar says
Stress is a killer. Last year my cousin lost her husband to stress and heart ailments. And his death has left a hole in our hearts.
Adrienne says
I’m SO sorry to hear that Imran… My heart goes out to your cousin, I know all too well what she’s going through.
We all look back and think what a waste of life, they had SO much more to live. That’s why those who aren’t aware of how important this is need a wake up call now.
Thank you for sharing that and I’m so sorry for your loss.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Imran,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear about your cousin and her loss.
I think it’s easy to overlook the negative effects of stress. We become accustomed to it and think it’s the normal way of life – especially in regard to the workplace.
I hope those who read this post take advantage of the wisdom shared here.
I send good thoughts to you and your family.
Lisa says
Hello Dana and Adrienne!
I can really relate to your story, thank you so much for sharing it. I used to work in Corporate America because I was raised to believe that “that’s just what you do.” I was never happy and worse, I was treated terribly at my last job which was a very negative environment where terrible treatment was the norm.
I never understood why big companies felt the need to take advantage of employees by being mean spirited, forcing mega hours and giving nothing much in return.
I was eventually layed off from that job and it was the best possible thing that could happen.
Through personal development and focusing in on the skills that would help me to others, I build my own business and love it.
I appreciate you story Adrienne and admire you for taking a stand in your own life.
Thank you both again!
Lisa
Dana Gore says
Hi Lisa,
Welcome to my blog 🙂
It sounds like you certainly can relate to Adrienne’s story. I know plenty of others who are or have been in the same boat.
While it’s never any fun to be mistreated at any job, it can end up being such a gift because sometimes, it takes pain to motivate us enough to make the necessary changes to start working toward a life we desire.
Adrienne’s story points out what stress does to us if we don’t pay attention to it.
It can kill us – physically and Spiritually.
As to why companies don’t treat their employees better than they do – I feel it’s because they can get away with it. Eventually, if enough of us decide we deserve better (and we do), then either we will go out on our own, or simply not tolerate the conditions they place upon us.
The workplace is often filled with individuals who aren’t living their passion – so they become walking emotional reactions to their pain. They take it out on others and create an environment where no one thrives.
We do have choices though, and Adrienne is living proof of that.
It’s great to see you here and I appreciate you stopping by.
Adrienne says
Hey Lisa,
Sounds like we’re had some similar experiences when it comes to corporate America.
My last 2 jobs were like that actually with the very last one being the worst of them all. I think that because it’s SO easy to hire people to replace you they do what they want and most of them get away with it because those people really NEED that job. The last guy I worked for had every girl in that office in tears but they stayed because they needed to work. It was disgusting how he treated people but of course he didn’t dare treat me that way because I was the only one that stood up to him. Probably the reason I got the pink slip which was fine by me.
Being laid off was the best thing for me too because I walked out of that door with a big severance package which really helped me make a decision to start fresh. It was hard but it was worth it. I’m glad you found something much better as well Lisa, bravo to you too.
Thank you for your comment and I sure do wish you the very best.
~Adrienne
Sylviane Nuccio says
Hi Adrienne and Dana.
What a great surprise and a great post. I really enjoyed reading that story, even though it’s not all fun.
Hell, yes, stress is a REAL killer, not just something doctors like to say. My mother had blood pressure 100% related to stress, because when she started losing her head, and with it the stress, the blood pressure totally disappeared. Another great proof that what’s going on mentally and emotionally has tremendous repercussion on the body.
I am so sorry about your friend losing his life so young due to this silent killer.
Just like I have said and written many times, personal development saved my life as well. If not, how would I have been able to go through my mother dying without me knowing it, and having a brother that has disappeared, at least at the moment.
No kidding that what I went through during the past few years of my life would have brought few people to the hospital. However, that didn’t happen to me, thanks to personal development. Glad it did you too.
Thanks for sharing your story Adrienne.
~Sylviane
Adrienne says
Hey Sylviane,
I’m happy to be here sharing my stories although they aren’t the most pleasant ones, I agree.
Stress is a huge part of a lot of people’s lives. Some have it somewhat under control but in Chuck’s case that wasn’t to be. By the time he decided to get help, he actually passed away on the day he had the doctor’s appointment.
If you study personal development and understand that your thoughts and feelings control everything then I think more and more people can get things under control. I wish I had known that back when I was actually going through all of that but it’s never too late to learn and I’m so glad I did.
I appreciate your comment Sylviane, thank you so much for stopping by and you have a great week okay!
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hi Sylviane,
Isn’t Adrienne’s story moving?
I was happy she included a mention for you as well. I know you’re a perfect example of someone who has used personal development to make the changes necessary to create a life you desire, not one being lived by default.
Stress is one of those things that we get used to, so it becomes chronic. Unfortunately, we don’t pay attention to the signs when this happens because it becomes “normal”. But the energy builds up inside of us and doesn’t go anywhere. Instead, we experience depression and physical ailments – and these things can kill us.
Self-doubt is another killer. It kills the Spirit – the Light within us. When this goes, hope goes – and then we succumb to a reality that feels like a punishment.
Adrienne’s story demonstrates this clearly, and this is why I find her message so valuable.
I appreciate you and your insight Sylviane. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing this post 🙂
Brenda Pace says
Hey Dana! Hey Adrienne!
What a pleasure seeing Adrienne here sharing her story! I am one that is in this boat. My job is stressing me to the point of having anxiety in the mornings I go to work. So much so, it has affected my health. I know this is a job that I need to kick to the curb in order to have better health and live longer and I’m working on that. It’s taking me a bit of time but I have a plan in place and am acting as we’re speaking. 🙂
I’m so sorry about your friend, Chuck and your Father, Adrienne. Too many people are performing jobs in Corporate America and not enjoying it. At 47 years old, I’m ready to really start enjoying my career and am confident I’m going to make it happen.
I hope both of you ladies are having a super awesome Monday!
Bren
Adrienne says
Hey Brenda,
Thanks for stopping by and checking out my post.
I KNOW you really do hate your job and I worry about you girl. Seriously because of what I shared here. I’ve been there and I’ve also had the anxiety attacks too. One of the scariest things that has ever happened in my life. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack.
I know it’s hard to just quit and I should have been smarter about it as well but I don’t regret just walking away either. We’re not promised tomorrow so get those attacks under control so that when you leave that job you’ll be well on your way to a much better life.
Thanks for the comment Brenda, I wish you the best.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Hey There Bren,
I KNEW you would love this post.
You’re a perfect example of someone who is listening to her instincts and taking charge. You have no idea how much I respect that and I have NO doubt you’ll get yourself aligned with everything you need to make your dreams come true now that you’ve decided this is what you want to do.
Adrienne’s post speaks to all of us because at some point in our lives, many of us have lived by default. We’ve made decisions based on a thought process that says “I have to do this thing I hate in order to survive”. It’s disempowering – and it doesn’t have to be this way.
I had every bit of confidence Adrienne would craft up something heartfelt and inspiring – and she sure delivered.
I hope this gives you the knowing that you have what it takes, Brenda.
Besides, I’ve seen your work and I know you are meant for this 🙂
Brenda Pace says
I do love it my friend and thank you for giving me the heads up about the post! I’m glad I didn’t miss it!
B
Chery Schmidt says
Hello Dana, I was invited here this morning by Adrienne and so happy I came over to visit. She Is One Amazing Gal!
As for this post, all I can say is WOW! It is crazy how time just flies by? So Yes Yes! If you are not happy with the way things are going you had better do something about it, Like Yesterday! Especially if you are in a stressful JOB or one you Hate!!
As Adrienne has clearly pointed out Stress Kills!
Great Job Ladies, Have a Great Week Ahead
Chery :))
Dana Gore says
Hi Chery,
I’m so happy you’ve stopped by to read Adrienne’s post. She’s so inspiring, isn’t she?
Yes, stress kills. Unfortunately, most of us wait until it’s too late to understand how this works. We become so accustomed to living with anxiety that it becomes chronic and we no longer take it seriously.
Adrienne’s story is a personal one, but it speaks to all of us. We are reminded to listen to our instincts and take our health (and happiness) seriously.
I know others will benefit from reading her beautiful words.
Thank-you soo much for stopping by Chery. Have a wonderful week 🙂
Adrienne says
Hey there Chery,
Thanks for coming by and checking out my guest post here at Dana’s place.
Time won’t stop flying by and boy has it ever. I know for so many people they just put up with where they are because they don’t think there is a way out. Granted, just quitting your job with no plan in sight isn’t the smartest way to go either but at the same time it definitely can put a fire under you to make sure things go well.
Stress does kill and I used to hear this term all the time too. It wasn’t until I saw it first hand that I realized just how very true that really is. Chuck was an awesome person and I sure wish he would have gotten some help sooner but that’s not how things worked out.
Thanks for the visit my dear and I hope you have a terrific week. I know you’re doing what you love.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Adrienne,
Let me officially welcome you to my blog. I am SO thrilled to share your beautiful message with everyone who visits.
You’ve been helping those of us who’ve wanted to build something meaningful for ourselves, but didn’t think we had what it took to do so. The fact that you were personal here will help others to relate to you and those you’ve discussed.
I know this is the case for me.
Many successful people seem unattainable. They can’t be reached. You, on the other hand, are so genuine and authentic – and it’s evident in your story.
I can’t wait to see the impact this will have – and again, thank-you for being my guest 🙂
Adrienne says
Good morning Dana,
I want to thank you for the opportunity to guest for you this month. I’m hoping what I shared with your readers will help them in some small way.
We never think things will happen to us and I prefer to not wait until it’s too late and there is no turning back. Go for what you want today and I think it will be the best decision of your life.
Thank you my dear and I’m eager to hear what others have to say about this topic too.
See you soon.
~Adrienne
Dana Gore says
Good Morning Adrienne,
I am so happy to share your story here. I KNOW it will inspire others.
The truth is, so many of us out there aren’t at peace – and the job situation has a lot to do with this.
I don’t think enough of us understand how stress can negatively impact us (it can obviously cost us our lives). We accept it as a natural part of our lives and ignore the signs that it’s causing damage – until it’s too late.
Your post will provide insight and courage for those who have wanted to make that leap into building something for themselves – but didn’t think they had it in them.
Thank-you, so much, for providing us with this. I love what you’ve had to say here, and I know others will as well 🙂